


February Stars

by sleeponrooftops



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-19
Updated: 2011-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 08:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeponrooftops/pseuds/sleeponrooftops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iris Vlokx has a secret, one that she’s hidden within the shiver and shake of her bones.  And when it’s cold and her breath turns to ice, her skin itches and convulses, even burning flames feel lukewarm, and she can never stop the chill and ache of her body until summer kisses her secret once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_August twenty-seventh._

_1977._

 

Iris Vlokx stared as the wooden door slammed in her face, and she stood there a moment until a crisp breeze blew through her, and she gripped her arms.  It was late August, just almost September, and it had been a rainy, breezy summer.  She’d barely left the shelter, but, after the last shaking fit that had left her convulsing on her cot for nearly a week, they’d had enough.  She needed someone, someone that had what she needed.

 

Her eyes shuttered closed, and she felt as though she was being sucked into a vortex, but when she opened her eyes again, the familiar sensation was gone, and a terrible, vicious wind ripped through her.  Iris shivered as she turned her blue and green eyes up to the beautiful castle shimmering in the moonlight.  A convulsion shook her body, and she squeezed her eyes shut, gripping her arms tighter.

 

Her feet moved of their own accord, carrying her up the long gravel walkway and toward the castle.  To her great surprise, the doors slid open and she barely made it inside.  A cat was sitting just beyond the threshold, and she fought the urge to shift and snatch it up.

 

“Please,” she begged, collapsing to her knees and dropping her chin to her chest.

 

“Sybil, please find Horace and have him meet us in the Hospital Wing.  I will escort Miss Vlokx there.  Thank you.”  When Iris lifted her eyes again, the cat had disappeared and had instead been replaced by a tall woman with a tight bun in night robes.

 

“Somewhere warm,” Iris gasped, shaking, “Fire.”

 

“Can you walk?”

 

Iris held out her hand, and the woman helped her up, allowing her to lean on her as they walked quickly through the castle.  She could barely keep track of the complicated route they took, but, suddenly, they were inside a red and gold decorated room with a roaring fire.  Iris stumbled hurriedly over to it, sitting almost too close, and the woman watched as she whispered furiously before sticking her hands in the flames and sighing.  “You are a talented witch.  Where did you study?” the woman asked.

 

“Ireland.  Are you Minerva McGonagall?”  It was as though the country’s name suddenly made her accent incredibly noticeable.  McGonagall smiled as Iris looked toward her.  She was a beautiful girl with pale skin and crazy curls that were almost white blonde.  Light freckles dotted her face and hands, and her eyes, what instantly caught McGonagall’s attention, were one blue and one green, her pupils dilated incredibly.

 

“What are you?  You’re not an Animagus unless you’re just new and you’re unstable.”

 

“I am not an Animagus.  I am a werewolf.”

 

\--

 

_September first._

_1977._

A pair of blue green eyes blinked as the sun peeked over the horizon and touched the first glances of the castle.  Iris sighed and rubbed her arms before turning away from the window and going back to her bed where she picked up a small vial and uncapped it with a flick of her thumb.  She downed the liquid silver contents in one, quick gulp before wrinkling her nose and going over to her dresser to change for the day.  The students would be arriving, and she was anxious to see who her roommates would be.

 

She tugged on her new clothes, smiling fondly at the memory.  She’d become close to McGonagall in the short week she’d been here, and the stern professor had even taken her to Diagon Alley, accompanying her _just in case_ , as Iris was used to, and she led her around, stopping at Madame Malkin’s for Hogwarts robes, a snowy white owl that she named Echo, and a list of items that Hogwarts students were required.  They’d then apparated back to Hogwarts, and Iris was surprised to find herself engaged in a normal conversation with McGonagall as they made their way through the gates and up the walkway.  Once inside, she’d introduced Iris, for the first time, to a one Albus Dumbledore, who immediately took a great liking to Iris and vice versa.  They had her sorted, surprising her with Gryffindor; after all she’d heard, she had been sure she would land in either Slytherin or Ravenclaw, and then McGonagall and Dumbledore had actually given her a tour of the castle.  She knew their behavior was not repeated to many other students and that she was special, but she appreciated it nonetheless.

 

She’d always associated physical items with memories, and she knew these first pair of Hogwarts clothes would remain forever special to her.  She’d never been shown such mercy and kindness in Ireland, and it warmed her to think that there would be more people like McGonagall and Dumbledore, people her age, people she would spend her time with, in her dorm, in her classes, in this beautiful castle.

 

As she settled into the white blouse, she tucked it under the grey skirt, zipped it up, and set about tugging on her grey socks and black shoes.  Next, she pulled on the grey vest with the Hogwarts emblem stitched on, her gold and red tie, and her new black robe.  She smiled; she felt like she belonged here.  She would be arriving with the bustle of the rest of the students, slipping into the crowd unnoticed, and she took a deep breath before heading out into the castle.  She had a meeting with Dumbledore today, and she was already nervous.

 

“You look smashing, my dear,” Dumbledore complimented as she entered, smiling and heading for a seat, “So, you’ll be attending the feast, then?”

 

“McGonagall thought it only right.”

 

“Too right she is,” Dumbledore said with a bright smile, his eyes twinkling over his half-moon glasses, “Now, let’s get down to business.  You know why we’re here.”

 

“I do.  I know I’m not to tell anyone unless I completely trust them,” she said, and she blinked, frowning; this was the only part she didn’t like.  In Ireland, plenty of people had known about her, had known the secret of her shifting skin, though she also understood why Dumbledore wanted her to keep it to herself.  She had never been treated fairly in Ireland; she’d never had any true friends, and people had always been cruel to her, always tried to shove her in the snow to see if she would snarl and rip out of her womanly figure.

 

“Miss Vlokx,” Dumbledore said kindly, sighing and pressing his fingertips together, “There is another werewolf in this school.  This is why I have called you here.  However, he is not like you.  He follows the mysteries of legend.  He changes only during the full moon, and he is harmless when given a potion.  Now, it is of my knowledge, though I do not have concrete evidence or a confession, that he has three friends that can transfigure at their will.  You know what this is called, correct?”

 

“An Animagus, sir.  How is it possible?  Are they registered?”  This excited her.  She had met only one other Animagus in her lifetime at school, and she had been one of her closest friends.

 

“They are not.  I believe that they did it themselves and have kept it hidden.  I’m only telling you this, Iris, because of Emily.”  Iris lapsed into silence.  Emily.  It had been so long since she’d heard her name.  “I understand you haven’t seen Emily in some time.”  Iris shook her head.  She didn’t trust her tongue.  “It appears that Ireland allows its students to take a class in the art of Animagi, and it also appears that a one Emily Kelunt was successful in her transformation.”

 

“She turns into a falcon.  She’s quite beautiful,” Iris said unsurely, though she couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto her face.  Emily.  She remembered meeting the exquisite raven-haired beauty when she was only twelve, remembered instantly knowing she would be her best friend forever.

 

_“Excuse me,” a soft voice said, and Iris looked up from her corner, arms wrapped tightly around her, “Are you okay?”  Iris just stared at her, her body shaking, her skin rippling.  She felt sick as her stomach lurched with nausea, and she knew she was going to shift._

_Emily gasped and stepped back as the blonde in front of her disappeared, shaking into a fiery coat of fur.  “I can, too,” she said, putting out her palm and closing her eyes.  In an instant, Emily transfigured into a gorgeous, silver-feathered falcon.  She was thirteen, and she saw every bit of herself in the shaking form of Iris._

“Iris,” Dumbledore said softly, shaking her from her reverie, “Emily took the class only as a formality, didn’t she?”

 

“She was so smart,” Iris said fondly, “She figured it out in her second year.  I don’t know how, but she did.  She’s insane,” she laughed, “Professor, what does this have to do with anything?  I must admit, you’ve confused me a great deal.”

 

“I have that tendency,” Dumbledore chuckled, “I guess it’s best if we start from the beginning.”  With a flourish of his wand, the door opened, and Iris swiveled in her chair, her jaw dropping.

 

\--

 

Emily Kelunt was pretty in a very wild way.  She had short, choppy, straight jet black hair that was frequently mussed up and not at all fashionably parted or fixed or set in order.  She had wild golden eyes that never looked hazel and a bright, brilliant white smile.  Her skin, always paler than Iris’, shimmered in the light, dancing in the glow of life around her, and she always wore myriad of jewelry, from necklaces to rings for toes and fingers to bracelets that made her glitter even more.  She was, in every way, the exact opposite of shy, reclusive, quiet Iris Vlokx.

 

And so Iris was only somewhat surprised when she turned to find her standing in the doorway to Dumbledore’s office.  He had excused them almost immediately, and now they were sitting, hip to hip, knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder, in the high bleachers at the Quidditch Pitch.

 

“I left end of fifth year to help with the Order,” she admitted, “It was just a work in progress then, just something Dumbledore was beginning to form.  I met him just a few months before I left.  He had come to Ireland to speak with the headmaster; you remember that, and he had McGonagall with him.  I was so entranced by McGonagall because I _knew_ she was an Animagus, even in her cat form.  And so I showed her, right before they were leaving, and I talked to them.  I had to leave.  I couldn’t miss the chance.  The rest in the Order kind of tutored me through what would have been our sixth year.  Dumbledore hadn’t wanted to allow me, and McGonagall certainly was against it, but when I told them I’d become an Animagus second year, they were shocked.  They said they almost _had_ to let me.  It was crazy, Iris, really,” Emily paused to rifle a hand through her hair.  “The Marauders fit into this because they’re Animagus, like Dumbledore was hinting at.  I met them once, just once, and, even then, only in passing.  We were at the Potters’ house to discuss something with his father; he’d fallen ill, you see, so he couldn’t come to us.  I remember James kept trying to listen in, and Sirius was always behind him, until Mad-Eye nearly had a fit and hexed them and the door.  Dumbledore trusts them a lot, Iris, he really does.  And he told you about them because he thinks they can help you fit into this school.  Gosh, Iris, Hogwarts will do you wonders.  You’ll be so much safer here than you were in Ireland.  And Remus, he’s the werewolf, he’ll definitely be a good friend, especially to talk to about all that.  He wants you to become friends with them, you see?  He feels like they can help you.”

 

“And what are you doing here?” Iris finally asked, frowning.  She was beginning to feel like she was grasping at her friend and that she would disappear any second.

 

“I’m here.  I’m right here,” Emily said, and Iris’ heart jumped up from her feet.  “I’m not going anywhere.  Dumbledore wants me to complete my seventh year the right way since I skipped out last year on the tutoring, and he’s promised I can still help with the Order if I complete a year of schooling at Hogwarts.”

 

“You’re going to be staying here, at Hogwarts, with me?” Iris confirmed.  It seemed too good to be true.

 

“We’re going to figure this out, Iris,” she said, and she knew immediately what Emily was talking about: the wolf inside of her, the history of her other skin.


	2. Chapter 2

This was it.

 

McGonagall gave the door a sharp knock before entering, and the room beyond fell silent as the professor stopped just a few steps in.  “Girls,” she began, and Iris swallowed, “I’m sure you’ve both noticed by now that Sarah and Amelia weren’t at the feast.”

 

“We got Amelia’s letter over break, professor,” a soft voice interrupted her, “We know she isn’t coming back.”

 

“And we know about Sarah,” another voice intoned, “So you’re here to tell us that those two beds have been filled?”

 

McGonagall sighed.  “Lily, Abby, these are your new roommates, Iris and Emily.”  She stepped aside to allow the two friends to enter, and Iris let out a breath of relief.  A girl with wavy red hair was already making her way over, and she shook each of their hands with a wide smile.

 

“Are you really Emily Kelunt?  I’m sorry, the boys were whispering about it earlier, and I didn’t believe them, but you look so much like her.”

 

“I am,” Emily said with a smile, “Thank you, professor.”  Emily allowed herself to be escorted in by Lily, but McGonagall was putting a hand on Iris’ shoulder.

 

“Anything at all,” she whispered, “Anything, even a shiver, if you’re afraid, go straight to Madame Pomfrey.  You don’t have to struggle through this anymore.”

 

“Thank you,” she returned softly.  McGonagall just smiled quickly before squeezing her shoulder and exiting.  Iris turned to look at her two new roommates, who waved her over, and she couldn’t help the overwhelming sensation of belonging as she closed the door and hurried over to greet them.

 

\--

 

_September sixth._

_1977._

The warmth of this early fall day held onto Iris as she dressed that morning, and she couldn’t help the excitement that drummed through her.  She hadn’t felt so firmly in her own skin for some time now, and it comforted her to think that this was _her_.

 

“These uniforms are hideous.”  Iris turned to find Emily leaning against the bathroom door with a frown.

 

“I actually quite like them,” Iris returned, smoothing down her skirt.

 

“You don’t miss being able to wear whatever you wanted every day of the school year?  Ireland may have been hell, but at least they had a fashion sense.”

 

“Maybe, but I’m not afraid here.”

 

Emily smiled at her friend before pushing off the doorframe and standing next to the blonde girl.  Together, they got ready, brushing their teeth, fixing their hair, applying small amounts of makeup, and when they headed back out into the room, Lily was just unrolling her last overnight curler.

 

“Are you two heading down to breakfast?  Abby left a while ago.  She doesn’t usually hang out up here.  She’s friends with the sixth years more,” Lily explained, shrugging.  “It’ll be nice to actually go down with a friend for once,” she continued, smiling over at them before leaning forward into her small vanity mirror to apply eyeliner and mascara.

 

Iris’ classes held her attention more than anything.  She was fascinated by the professors and even more so by the subjects they taught.  Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, from nine to twelve, there was Professor Slughorn, a round man who had immediately taken interest to the eyes of Emily and Iris, who taught Potions, from one o’clock to two thirty, there was Professor Bramnchi, a very stern, crooked-nosed man with a voice that Iris thought resembled a large bear, who taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, from three thirty to five o’clock, there was Professor McGonagall, who taught Transfiguration, and at midnight on only Wednesdays, there was Professor Sinistra, the mother of an adorable first year, who taught Astronomy.  Then, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, from nine o’clock to noon, there was Professor Kettleburn, a man that they’d all heard plenty of wild stories about, who taught Care of Magical Creatures, from one o’clock to four o’clock, there was Professor Sprout, a kind, stout woman that everyone loved, who taught Herbology, and from four o’clock to seven o’clock, there was Professor Flitwick, the shortest and sweetest man Iris had ever met, who taught Charms.

 

She knew her schedule appeared ridiculous, and Emily often groaned over it, but she adored learning, and every class had seemed so exciting to her when she first looked them over.

 

“Besides,” Iris had reasoned a few days back, “Lily is in almost every single one of my classes, if not all of them.”

 

“I’m not in Herbology or Astronomy.  Absolutely _useless_ classes,” Lily sighed, “At least you’re not taking Divination.  Now _there_ is a worthless subject.”

 

“If ever you’re dying and need a plant to save you, don’t come crying to me,” Iris had shot right back.

 

But now here she was, sitting in McGonagall’s class, and she couldn’t be happier.

 

\--

 

_September eleventh._

_1977._

“All I’m saying is, it’s far too early for you to be dragging me out and about,” Emily grumbled as she yanked on her white shorts before slipping a loose, yellow long-sleeve shirt over her head.  “I mean, honestly, what time is it?”

 

“It’s barely even six o’clock, so shut up,” Iris snapped, “It’ll be fun.  We haven’t done yoga together in such a long time, and it calms me down.”

 

“Are you stressed?”

 

Iris just glared at Emily before pulling on her tight jeans and black and white striped vneck.  They headed out together without their shoes on to avoid making too much noise, and they were just sitting on the couch when a stair creaked from the boys’ dormitory.  They froze, both staring until the figure of a sleepy James Potter revealed himself.

 

“Iris?  Emily?” he said softly as he came into the light of the still-rising sun, “What are you two doing up so early?”

 

“We could ask you the same thing,” Emily snapped, but Iris rolled her eyes.

 

“We’re going to the Pitch to run and do some yoga.  Wanna join?”

 

James actually brightened at the request as he nodded.  “I’ll get my broom and the guys.  No more than ten minutes,” he promised before sprinting back up the stairs.  They chatted quietly until James returned with Remus in tow.  “Sirius absolutely refused to get up.  He tried to set me on fire, so I thought it best to leave him alone,” James said with a shrug, “And Peter wasn’t actually in bed, surprisingly.  But, Remus here was more than happy to get some early morning sunlight.”

 

“So, do you two do this often?  Break the rules,” Remus clarified as they crept through the halls under James’ invisibility cloak; Iris found it fascinating.

 

“We used to all the time in Ireland, and we were given more detentions than I care to remember,” Emily said fondly, “Iris always managed to weasel us out of a week and turn it into only two nights, though.  She’s wonderful like that.  Remember that time you tried to convince Skelo you were looking for a plant for his class, and you read that they could only be caught at dawn?”

 

“Stupid of him to actually believe me, though we got a month of detention when I didn’t turn up with the plant a week later.”

 

“He was so livid about that.”

 

They fell silent, then, because they’d reached the Pitch and ditched the cloak.  The boys set off to get their brooms while Iris and Emily began their stretching.

 

“I always wish I could play Quidditch,” Iris mumbled, staring longingly as the boys took off into the air.

 

“It’s too cold,” Emily reminded before taking off into a light jog, and Iris just sighed and watched her for a moment before following.

 

\--

 

Sirius threw a pillow in the direction of James’ bed some hours later only to find it empty.  When he sat up in confusion, it was to find that the whole of his dormitory was empty.  Remus and Peter were gone, as well.  Sirius frowned, scratching his stubbly cheek before shrugging and clambering out of bed.  He showered, shaved, dressed, and was just getting ready to leave when Peter stumbled in, yawning and dragging along.

 

“Everything alright, Wormtail?  I haven’t seen you since yesterday,” Sirius commented, arching an eyebrow at his friend.

 

“Party,” was all Peter said before flopping onto his bed.  He was snoring in seconds, so Sirius just laughed and left him to the peace of his dreams.  He thought about what he’d do if he couldn’t find his friends today, though his worries were put to rest when he entered the Great Hall and they were seated with Iris Vlokx and Emily Kelunt.

 

“Hello Black,” a voice said from behind him, and he turned to find Lily Evans walking past him.  He followed her over to the table where she sat next to Iris and he sat next to James.

 

“Where were you guys this morning?”

 

“They tried to wake you up, but you refused,” Emily commented, sticking out her tongue.  Sirius just threw her a glare before heaping food onto his plate.

 

“Wanna do a Hog’s run today?” he asked of James and Remus, who just nodded.

 

“Not too late, though.  We have classes tomorrow,” Remus reminded, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever, party pooper.”

 

“What’s a Hog’s run?” Iris asked softly, and Sirius was struck by her voice.  He’d barely heard her talk in the few weeks she’d been here, had only had the pleasure of _looking_ at her rather than also listening.  And her voice.  It almost matched her looks, how flowing and musical it was.  He attributed it to her brogue, but he loved the flick of her words nonetheless, loved how different she sounded from the rest of them, from even Emily.  He knew she was beautiful, and he took a moment to look at her, like he found himself frequently doing, as she nodded to whatever James was saying.  Something about Dumbledore’s warning was pushing him away from her, though.

 

_Iris is unstable, though not to the naked eye._

 

\--

 

_September seventeenth._

_1977._

A window clanged against the wall, shaking Iris from her slumber, and she sat up, rubbing her eyes blearily.  She looked over at the other three beds, but all of them were occupied with sleeping girls.  A chill ran up her spine, but she shrugged it away until goosebumps prickled her arms, and her head swiveled sharply to the breeze that floated in through the open, clanging window.  Her heart sped as she watched a piece of parchment catch in the wind and soar through the air.  The night air cut her like ice, and she was suddenly unstable, her whole body trembling with the cold.

 

September had carried the same rainy, breezy feel that the summer had, and Iris was terrified of every open window and doorway.  Sharp pains shot through her fingers as she nearly fell out of bed, her mind scattered.  She wasn’t herself, she was already losing her thoughts, already slipping away.  She gasped as a needle of agony sharpened through her, bringing her to her knees before she could reach a hand out to the vial on her bedside table.  Her arm shook, suspended in midair, and the window crashed against the wall again, breaking Lily from her sleep with a small shout.

 

“Oh, Christ,” she growled, climbing out of bed and making her way over to the window.  She spotted Iris halfway, curled in on herself on the floor, shaking violently.  “Oh my gosh, Iris, is everything alright?” she whispered, dropping next to her.

 

“Lily,” she managed to bite out, “Just—just—fuck,” she spat, her teeth clattering, “Get me out of here,” she finally demanded, balling her fingers into fists, “Please.  Out of the tower.”

  
“Iris, it’s the middle of the night.”

 

“Please!” she gasped, groaning as she felt her bones shifting and reforming.

 

Lily didn’t say anything else as she heaved Iris to her feet and forced her out of their dormitory and down the winding stairs.  “Oh thank God,” Lily said suddenly, though Iris couldn’t lift her head.  She felt heavy, her mouth dry and thick, her eyes large and not her own.  “Sirius, help me.  She’s so goddamn heavy.”

 

“What’s wrong with her?” the voice of Sirius Black floated over to them before his feet appeared in Iris’ vision.

 

“I have no idea.  She told me to get her out of the tower.”  Sirius shrugged before stepping around, and Iris watched his bare toes wiggle a moment as he lifted her other arm over his shoulders.

 

“You gonna be sick, Vlokx?” he asked quietly, “I’ll hold your hair.”

 

“Sirius, really?” Lily snapped as they started forward, “You’re going to hit on her when she’s like this?”

 

“I wasn’t hitting on her,” he shot back just as venomously, “I was offering to help her.  God, Lily.”

 

“Oh, whatever.”  The portrait hole slammed shut behind them, and Iris could already feel Lily tensing, but her tirade was stopped as Iris sagged, her knees hitting the ground, and the last thing she heard was Lily screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	3. Chapter 3

“Shit,” Sirius grunted as Iris slipped from their hold, but the next second, he was pushing himself onto Lily and shoving her away from the girl.  Lily screamed, and they watched as Iris’ head tipped back farther, her neck curling past human limits, her skin splitting and her muscles trembling.  And she was gone, slipping out of her pale skin and into the fur coat of a fiery red and orange wolf.

 

“Lily,” Sirius whispered, swallowing dryly, “Lily, you have to get back inside.”

 

“What about you?” she hissed, shoving his shoulder.

 

“I’ll be fine, trust me.  You, however, _need to get back inside_ ,” he repeated in a low voice as the wolf’s head swiveled to face them at their voices.  Iris’ blue and green eyes stared back at them, and Lily gasped.

 

“She’s a werewolf.  _That’s_ why Remus is so interested in her!  But wait,” she paused, “I saw Remus today, right before I went to bed.  It’s not even close to the full moon.”

 

“Which is why you need to get back inside.  Because I don’t know what the hell is going on,” Sirius said, not sparing her a glance as he spread his arms and backed Lily against the wall, “Look, Evans, I really don’t want to do this with you right now.  James will have my head if something happens to you.”

 

“Oh,” she scoffed, narrowing her eyes, “Who cares what Potter thinks.  What about you?  What are you going to do?”

 

“Lead her out of the castle.  Something is wrong, Evans, and I don’t know what it is, but I’m not going to let her roam the castle like this.  She could bite anyone.”

 

“And you?”

 

“Lily!” he yelled, spinning, “Go.”

 

She listened this time, slipping back through the portrait hole as Iris stepped back, her ears flattened against her head.  Everything about her stance screamed fear, and Sirius could practically smell the anxiety rolling off of her as he fell to his hands and knees, shaking his head as he transformed.

 

He was shocked as an image crossed his mind, an image of Lily, tainted with the touch of fear.  He shook his head, looking at Iris, but the image came again, and he pushed it back, trying to convey that she was a friend.  Iris backed away again until Sirius stepped forward, growling, and she fell to her haunches, looking up at him worriedly.  He tried to communicate with her as she had, coming up with an image of the Forbidden Forest, and her eyes seemed to brighten.  Somehow, he managed to coax her into going with him, and he directed her around the castle, stopping her from marking anything and pushing them out into the night air.

 

There, she bounded for the forest, and Sirius went with her, his human mind working furiously through options.  He’d never met anyone like Iris.  Of course, he’d had his fair share of adventures with Remus, but this, this was something he was entirely unfamiliar with.  This was a werewolf he couldn’t understand, which felt odd for him.

 

Iris was nothing like the fear and shyness of Remus, either, and Sirius was wary of her.  She leapt at animals, never meaning to harm, only meaning to play, and more than a few accepted her offer, running alongside her and nipping at her legs until she growled at them, eyes sparkling.  She was carefree and wild, whereas Remus just wanted to get far from the castle and hide away from everything.  He only ever trusted his three friends that he’d grown with as a wolf, but Iris seemed to come alive in the chilly night air.

 

Eventually, though, Sirius relented, wrestling with her a few times and playing games with her.  They chased the night away until dawn was crackling through the forest, bringing to life the birds and morning dew.  They’d stopped by a river somewhere deep in the forest to quench their thirst, still animals, which trickled confusion through Sirius.  Remus had always started to shake and transform at first light.  He, James, and Peter were used to backing away and shifting beyond the cover of trees, waiting for him to find his thoughts and call for them.  Iris, however, merely lifted her head as the sunlight touched her and closed her eyes, humanlike, and basked in the rays for a moment before licking her muzzle and nudging Sirius in the shoulder.  He looked at her, his human mind still tumbling, though duller in this body of a dog, and he understood, even if only a little.  She was no normal werewolf.  Something different pulsed in her blood.

 

They ran into the morning, leaping through trees and over roots, awakening the forest with their barks and howls, shaking the glistening drops of dew from their branches.  The wind began to die away as they reached familiar territory; this was the valley where Remus normally shifted in the morning.  Sirius watched as Iris stopped, head tilted, and the warm breath of the sun touched him, warming his fur.  He sat, tail wagging behind him, until Iris suddenly buckled, howling in pain.  He shot up, trying to comfort her, but she snapped viciously at him, her eyes screaming danger.  He backed away and sat again, watching her fearfully.

 

And then it happened, so fast Sirius barely saw it.  Head bent low, Iris lowered herself onto the ground, and then her paws were gone, transforming into human hands, dirty and rubbed raw.  The wolf’s howl faded into a trembling scream, and there was Iris, pale and shaking.  They were close to the lake, and Sirius shivered as the wind picked up its frigid breeze, and when he stood into his human form, Iris was shaking so hard, he felt a twang of pain for her.

 

Her head shot up when he took a step, and he stopped.  Her eyes were feral, all animal, and it scared him.  Not many things could, but that same look when she’d snapped at him still haunted her blue and green eyes.  “Get out of here,” she gasped, nails digging into the grass.  “Go!” she yelled when he didn’t move.

 

And she was a wolf again.  Sirius blinked.  He had never, in any of his researching, heard of someone like Iris Vlokx.  “Iris,” he whispered, and he was met with the terrified stare of blue green eyes in a wolf’s body.  “Iris, what is it?” he asked softly, taking another step toward her.  She instantly backed down, and he swore as he tried to step closer and she bolted.  His transformation was fluid, but finding her was hard.

 

When he finally did find her, he rammed into her, rolling them both onto the ground until he was atop her, pinning her down.  He snapped at her when she tried to bite him, and she recoiled, going limp.  He pushed an image at her, himself as a human, introducing himself for the first time.

 

_“You’re the new girl,” Sirius said, dropping a hand on her desk and leaning forward, “You have pretty eyes.”_

_“Go away, womanizer.”_

_“Ouch,” James whistled, laughing, “She’s got you pinned, and you haven’t even told her your name.”_

_“Sirius Black,” he whispered against her ear, and a tickle ran through her, causing her to blush.  Sirius Black.  She wasn’t going to forget his name._

Iris pushed the image back at him, and he repeated the movement.  They battled this way, Sirius fighting to make her understand until she showed him another one, a younger version of herself, cowering in a corner.  He recognized the wild eyes of Emily Kelunt bending to say something, and then he saw Iris shift.

 

He tried to convey confirmation.  He wanted her to know that _yes, that is you_.  She seemed to understand, and then she was shaking, and faster than he could comprehend, Iris’ pale body was underneath him.

 

“Sirius,” she gasped out, and something in her voice made him shiver and back out of his dog form.  “Who are you?” she said after a breath, “How do I know you?”  And the images suddenly made sense.  She lost Iris when she gained the wolf.

 

\--

 

Sirius turned away, eyes closing, as Iris continued to vomit.  He was finding it hard to concentrate.  Iris’ voice kept echoing in his mind, not knowing who he was.  She hadn’t given him anytime to ask, either, because she’d turned and thrown up as soon as she’d set off that bomb.

 

He felt uncomfortable, standing here naked with her in an equal state of undress, but he was fearful of leaving her alone, of what might happen to her.  It wasn’t that he’d become best friends with her, but he knew what agony Remus could be in after his cycle was complete.

 

“Iris, if I leave you to get clothes, will you be alright?”

 

“No,” she whispered, and he looked over his shoulder to find her straightening and loosening her hair from her fist.  He’d offered to hold her hair back, but she’d just shaken her head and turned away from him.  “I might shift again.  I don’t feel… I’m not sure in this skin,” she said.  She sounded so foreign, so unfamiliar.  Her voice was hollow, and he knew she was in pain.  “I’m sorry,” she suddenly whispered, “I’m sorry you heard that.  I don’t even really remember saying it, but I know I did.  I—I know who you are.”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” he demanded, his voice cold and hard.

 

She frowned, folding her arms over her chest, though Sirius’ eyes were fixed on her face anyway.  “When I turn into a wolf,” she managed before a shake ripped through her, and she groaned, her shoulders slumping.  “It’s the cold.  The cold makes me a wolf,” she gasped, sinking into the tree.  “Sirius,” she whimpered, and he only thought about it for a second before leaping forward and folding her into his arms.

 

“Talk,” he ordered, rubbing her back with his hands to warm her, “Just talk.”

 

“When I turn into a wolf, I can’t remember anything.  I can’t even remember my own name.  I don’t know how you did that, how you made me think of your name like that, even when I didn’t know who you were.  I can’t recognize faces or people or anything.  If you asked me who I was, I could tell you nothing.  It takes me a few minutes to remember where I am, who I am, what I am.  It’s not that I hate you or something or that I was trying to be rude or that you’re forgettable; I just can’t hold onto human thoughts.”

 

“Remus is like that sometimes, but he always knows it’s us.”

 

“I’m not like Remus.”

 

It was a simple statement, but it started to click things in Sirius’ mind.  “Something else is in your blood,” he said, and Iris nodded.

 

“Sirius,” she whispered, and he grunted.  “I know this is going to sound weird, but… hit me,” she finally spat out.  He didn’t think about it.  He just brought his hand back and let it collide with her pale skin, and she gasped into him, knees buckling a little, and then he understood.  The skin on her back under his palm flared with heat, reacting to the strike, and he pushed her off of him, biting his lip and slapping both of her arms.  She cried out, falling into the tree before he let his hand come down on her stomach and then on her neck.  She looked red, raw and hurt, but Sirius knew the shake of her shoulders already.  And so he scooped her up and he ran, faster than he ever had.

 

\--

 

“Padfoot!” James gasped as a great black dog came bounding through the front doors of the Great Hall.  The students fell silent, staring as he ran between the aisles, making a beeline for the staff table.  James started to stand as did Remus; Peter looked on, brow furrowed.

 

“Where do you think he’s been?” Remus whispered, and James shrugged, swinging his legs over the bench and heading for the end of Gryffindor table.  Peter scrambled to follow them, and the three stopped in the aisle as Sirius ran past them, up the stairs, and let out a vicious growl.

 

Dumbledore was already on his feet and coming around the table as Sirius came closer to McGonagall and barked angrily.  The elderly witch gasped as the voice of a one Sirius Black floated into her mind.  _Iris._ He repeated her name until she understood.  She had never truly believed that the Marauders had really successfully become Animagus until she stared at the grey eyes of the black dog before her and heard Sirius Black’s voice in her mind.  Only Animagi could communicate like that.

 

“Minerva,” Dumbledore said as Sirius’ growl rippled through the hall, “Minerva, now.”  She leapt to her feet, and Dumbledore touched a hand to Sirius’ head, causing him to snap his eyes up to the headmaster.  “Lead us, and quickly,” he added.

 

“She’s just outside,” McGonagall whispered, going past Dumbledore, “He’s going to get clothes and Madame Pomfrey,” she said, looking straight at Sirius before continuing.  Dumbledore followed her without another word.

 

The entire Hall was frozen as the two professors disappeared until Sirius barked again, eyes settled on James, and he moved, tugging Remus and Peter with him.  They ran after Sirius as he bounded out of the Great Hall.  When they erupted outside, he was crouched on the ground, chest heaving and hair hiding his face.  His head snapped up, and James gasped at the claw marks on his shoulders.

 

“Get Pomfrey,” he managed to gasp out, “Just get her and send her outside.  I have to go to the tower.  Prongs, _please_ ,” he groaned when they didn’t move.  He shifted before they could respond, and he was off, sprinting away up the grand staircase.

 

When he arrived in the boys’ dormitory, he changed into a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt, threw a sweatshirt on, and then charmed the girls’ staircase so he could hurry up and into Iris’ room.  He found jeans and a grey sweater along with panties, a bra, and socks before running back out of the tower in his human form.  When he arrived outside, McGonagall was coaxing Iris away from the lake while Dumbledore guarded the steps so no one would come outside.

 

“Mister Black,” he said when Sirius arrived, “You have much explaining to do.”

 

“We were almost back,” he said, looking over at the two, “She shifted by the lake.  Why does she change because of the cold and not the moon?” Sirius asked, looking up at the old headmaster.

 

“Iris Vlokx is something none of us understand yet, not even her.  She’s going to die, Sirius, unless we can discover what it is that has made her this.  She will always be an anomaly of the werewolves, will always change because of the cold and not the moon, but if we can remove whatever has poisoned her, she will live without fear or pain.  Why did she shift before?”

 

“It was warm, but then a breeze must have caught from the lake.  We were near it, in the valley near the farthest edge of the lake.”

 

“Ah, I see.  It appears as though Professor McGonagall is having a hard time.  I will feign ignorance after this moment, Mister Black, but if you happened to be an Animagus in this moment, I would ask you to help.”

 

Sirius needed no more convincing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY. THAT IS ALL.
> 
> Also, I am currently piecing together a compilation of oneshots centering around the lives of the Black sisters, and I am immensely excited about it.


	4. Chapter 4

Iris stirred, and, by routine alone, she didn’t move until she was sure she would be in no lasting pain if she did.  She carefully opened her eyes, allowing the room around her to swim into view as the events of the previous lapse of time had.  She didn’t know how long she had been unconscious or even how long she’d spent as a wolf, but she did know this: Sirius Black flitted in and out of her memories, which worried her.

 

“Ah, Miss Vlokx.  You’re awake.”  She recognized the voice of Madame Pomfrey, and so she slowly picked herself up.  She was in the Hospital Wing.

  
“What day is it?”

 

“You’ve only been asleep a few hours.  Your shift lasted just a night.  Lily Evans and Sirius Black have been made aware of the situation.”

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, taking the vial of silver liquid from the healing witch, “When may I be excused?”

 

“As soon as you feel apt.  You haven’t been injured, as far as I can tell, and, now that you’re awake, it’s up to you.”

 

“I’ll probably leave in a few minutes, then.  I need to… I need to talk to Lily.  I think I scared her.”  Madame Pomfrey smiled before clicking off, and Iris rubbed her eyes.  She felt groggy, like she’d lost too much time.

 

“I don’t think you’re a freak,” was the first thing out of Lily’s mouth, and Iris wasn’t sure if her newfound friend would ever understand how much her words truly meant.  “I really don’t, Iris,” Lily said, coming across the room and pulling her over to her bed.  Emily immediately leapt up from her bed, hurrying over to hug her.

 

“Oh my God, are you okay?  Pomfrey wouldn’t let me in; she was so furious that even Sirius had brought you up.  What happened?”

 

“The window was open last night.  I would have been fine, but then the castle was cold, and it just ran right through me.”

 

“I talked to Sirius,” Lily continued, “and Dumbledore.  He explained it, and then Emily did a little more.  I’m here for you, if you need me.  I’ll help, in any way I can.”

 

Iris just stared at her, disbelieving.

 

“Iris,” Emily began again, rubbing her arms and staring at her friend, “How did you get out of the castle?”

 

“Hold on,” Iris said, holding up a hand, “This is really hard for me, I’m sorry.  I’m trying to recollect wolf memories, and it’s difficult.”  Lily and Emily nodded, waiting until Iris opened her mouth again, “I think… I think Sirius is an Animagus.  I think he led me outside and stayed with me.  I remember, vaguely, he was there.  I can’t remember it being him, but it was his face, and I told him to go away before I shifted again.  And then he was there in the valley, and I remember him carrying me.”

 

“He didn’t want us to know, but there was no real way of convincing me otherwise,” Lily admitted, “And then the whole story came spilling out.  James and Peter are Animagus, too.  They help Remus on the full moons.”

 

“So, you know about Remus, then?” Iris and Emily asked at the same time, and Lily nodded.

 

“I’ve known for a while.  He told me himself.  But, besides all that, Dumbledore said something to Sirius, and I think I kind of deciphered it.  We have to figure out a cure, don’t we?  Because there’s something wrong with you that makes you a different werewolf than Remus?”

 

Iris just nodded.

 

\--

 

_September twenty-second._

_1977._

She didn’t know how to talk to him, even though she knew she had to.

 

Iris stared at the back of Sirius’ head from across the room, her quill suspended in midair, dripping ink onto her parchment.  She frowned as a drop hit her hand, though it brought her attention back to her scribbles.

 

_I don’t even know what to say to you.  Thank you._

She didn’t know if that would suffice, but she didn’t know much now.  She was still having trouble piecing together everything that had happened on Saturday, and she felt bad for not having confronted him sooner, but it terrified her to think that she knew Sirius only as an animal, one that she couldn’t even recall her memories of.

 

Sighing, she flicked her wand at the note; it folded itself before skimming off her desk and soaring through the air.  McGonagall barely flinched, though Iris knew that she’d seen the note go.  She hadn’t once been reprimanded this past week for not paying attention when she ought to.  Even now, when McGonagall was reading over essays and they were meant to be looking over their notes from their last one, she didn’t say a word when the note landed in front of Sirius.

 

He stared at it for a long minute before unfolding it and sighing.  Iris watched him for a few moments before bowing her head to try to immerse herself in her essay.  She got halfway before the note hit her in the foot.

 

_Hi.  My name is Sirius, and I think you’re beautiful.  I don’t care about what happened as long as you’re okay.  You scared me.  Not many people can do that.  How about you and I go for a walk sometime?  I can tell you about the time my mother blasted my name off the family tree and disowned me, and you can tell me about the time you were bitten._

Their deepest, darkest secrets.  Iris understood.

 

_Hello, Sirius Black.  Did you know that the first time I met you, I swore I would never forget your name?  And even in my most confused state, I didn’t.  I just forgot to place the name with the face.  I know who you are.  Today is warm.  I have a free period next._

She sent the note skidding across the floor until it prodded him in the ankle.

 

_I told James, Remus, and Peter._

Iris stared at the confession as McGonagall stood and dismissed them.  She was still sitting there when Sirius stopped by her desk.

 

“I’ll see you at dinner,” Emily whispered, touching her hand before slipping away.

 

“Hello, Sirius Black,” Iris said, looking up at him.

 

“Hello, Iris Vlokx.  Not only do you have an interesting name, you have incredible eyes.”

 

“I get that a lot.”  And then Sirius smiled, and Iris felt her own lips turn up.  He was infectious, even human.

 

\--

_October eighth._

_1977._

Iris jumped as a finger fell on her shoulder a few times.  “It’s late,” floated the voice of Sirius Black before he came around the couch and sat next to her.  He touched her skin through one of the many rips in her light jeans before reclining into the couch and draping his arms over the back of the couch.  “What’re you still doing up?”

 

“Fighting the chill in my dorm,” Iris responded with a shrug of her shoulders before she turned her attention back to the purple origami paper in her hands, “I also can’t sleep.  I have insomnia sometimes.  It comes and goes.  What about you?”

 

“I am in a constant state of unrest and insomnia.  Do you trust me?”

 

“Mostly,” Iris responded with a flippant smile before settling the finished crane in her cupped hands and blowing.  It flew from her hands, wings flapping as it carried itself atop the fireplace where it settled on the small mantle.

 

“Mostly, Vlokx,” he sighed, and Iris closed her eyes contently as he nudged her neck with his nose before resting his head on her shoulder.

 

Sometimes, she felt strange about Sirius.  After their first walk the almost week after her treacherous shift, they’d begun to spend a lot of time together, finding each other in between classes and at meals, entirely not on purpose.  They even sent each other letters and little notes in class with plans to meet up in the library, on the grounds while the sun was still high, in random hallways, and in the common room.  Sirius felt like a male version of Emily to her, for which she was eternally grateful and happy.

 

“Trust me, just this once.”  Sirius whispered a word, and his breath hit her skin like ice.  She gasped, her stomach crawling until she felt suddenly _warm_.

 

“What did you do?” she hissed, spinning to face him and nearly hitting him in the face.

 

“It’s only temporary.  Walk with me?”

 

Iris sat there a moment before nodding.  “Let me just get my jacket, okay?  It’ll make me feel more comfortable.”  He waved her off, and she hurried upstairs to toss her black peacoat on over her long-sleeve grey shirt.  When she returned, Sirius had gone back up to get his black leather jacket.  He held out his hand, and Iris took it carefully, shivering at that same icy feeling until warmth spread through her arm.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, and he just smiled before leading her out of the common room.

 

It was nearly three o’clock in the morning, but the next day was Sunday, and Iris knew that they wouldn’t be caught.  He was a Marauder, after all.  They walked in silence through the castle until Sirius slipped them out of the castle, through the front doors, no less, and, soon, they were walking the grounds under the beautiful moonlight.  The icy, near-winter air nipped at her skin, but Iris felt firmly _human_ , and she almost cried.  She didn’t think Sirius understood how much this meant to her.

 

“There’s a Hogsmeade trip coming up next weekend,” Sirius said casually, squeezing her hand, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to make that spell into a potion.”  Iris understood the implication, though she remained quiet.  “Will you go with me if I can do it in time?  It will still only be temporary, but at least we can have the day together.”

 

“I would love to.  I heard Lily actually accepted James’ offer.”

 

“He’s making up an itinerary,” Sirius said with a roll of his eyes, “Typical Lily.”

 

“Hey, she’s my friend,” Iris muttered, nudging him.  Sirius released her hand, and, for a split second, her fingers shook until his hand ghosted over her neck, and she calmed.  His breath caught her cheek, and he whispered again.

 

“Like I said, only temporary,” he sighed, “Also.  I wondered.  The full moon is on the twentysixth.  Do you want to come with us?  Emily can come along, too, if she wants.”

 

“Really?” Iris asked, unsure.  She’d wanted to ask them if she could come with on their past journeys, but she knew it was a line that she wasn’t supposed to cross.  She knew she had to wait for one of the Marauders to ask her.

 

“Yea, I think it would be good.  I think it would really be good,” he repeated, nodding, “It would be nice for you to meet the guys, too, officially.  I think Remus would enjoy company, as well, from another wolf, at least.”  Iris smiled.  Despite her fear of the cold, she was looking forward to this adventure.

 

They lapsed into silence for a while, though Iris didn’t mind it.  She felt utterly at ease with Sirius by her side, something no one but Emily had ever accomplished before.  Eventually, they slid into an easy conversation, talking about their days and their schoolwork.  They told stories about their past, as they often did, good and bad, and Iris loved every moment of it.

 

“I left to the Potters’ _manor_ , mind you, the summer before our sixth year, right after that lovely screaming match with my mother I told you about.  I still have the scar, see—” Sirius paused to lift up his jacket and white t-shirt to reveal a scratchy, black line that curved around his abdomen, “—from when my father threw his cane at me.”

 

“I was beat with a cane once, at the orphanage.”

 

“You were beat with a cane at an orphanage?  Seriously?”

 

“Oh, yes, Sirius, I’m very serious.”  Sirius sighed.  Iris laughed.  “They were trying to beat the werewolf out of me.  They didn’t understand it.”

 

“I’m sorry, Iris.”

 

“It’s fine.  My war scars are better than yours, though.  By the way, how’s your shoulder?”

 

Sirius shrugged.  “It’s alright.  You left a mark, but it’s a good story.  Hey guys, you see these?  Nah, not good sex, I just happened to get nearly clawed to death by a werewolf.  It’s cool.”  Iris smiled and snuggled deeper into Sirius’ warm embrace.  He recognized the motion and squeezed her shoulders.  “We should probably get you back.  I’m sick of breathing on you.”

 

“Is that really how it works?”

 

“I’m essentially giving you my warmth.  My fingers are practically blue.”

 

“Stupid of you, really,” Iris mumbled tiredly.

 

“Did you know I have a brother?”

 

“Regulus, right?  He looks like you, except angrier.  You just look sad.”

 

“I get that a lot.  Sirius is so gorgeous, but he just looks so damn broken all the time.”

 

“We’re all a little broken.”  They progressed back to the castle this way, and, when they finally snuck back into the warm confines, Iris was shivering.

 

“Crap, I’m sorry,” Sirius mumbled, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them.

 

“Just—” she paused to force her chattering teeth to stop, “Just back up a second.  Don’t freak out.  _Incendiocorpus_ ,” Iris breathed, and Sirius jumped back as her body was suddenly engulfed in flames.  His hands fisted, but he held himself back until a minute ticked by and the flames disappeared, leaving Iris looking flushed.  “Don’t worry, I’m okay.  I know, I’m a little dramatic sometimes.”

 

“You could have warned me you were going to set yourself on fire, Christ,” Sirius sighed in relief before rolling his hands.  Iris just stuck her tongue at him, so he grabbed her hand and tugged her away from the chill of the front doors.  They only had to hide behind a suit of armor once from Peeves; otherwise, they made it safely back to the comfort of the common room.

 

Sirius stopped just beyond the tunnel, still holding Iris’ hand, and they stood like that, side-by-side, not facing each other, for a few moments before Iris squirmed out of his fingers and lifted on her toes to kiss him on the cheek.  “Thank you for a lovely evening, Sirius Black,” she whispered, and he just smiled before touching his palm to her cheek in response.

 

“I’m not trying to get into your pants, but would you like to stay in my bed tonight?  It’ll be warmer in there,” Sirius said, smiling down at her.

 

“I’m not saying this to be forward, but I would even if I wasn’t afraid of the cold,” Iris returned with a small smile, “I’m just going to go get changed into my pajamas, okay?  I’ll meet you up there.  Door with the crack, right?”

 

“Because we throw Peter at it when he’s being stupid,” Sirius laughed.

 

“And sometimes James,” Iris finished before disappearing up the girls’ dormitory stairs.  Emily was wide awake.

 

“Where have you been?  You nearly gave me a heart attack.  I was just coming to find you,” she whispered in the dark, her golden eyes glinting dangerously.

 

“Sirius knows this spell.  I don’t know what it is,” Iris admitted, frowning, “But it keeps me warm, even in the cold.  He said he’s been trying to figure out how to make it into a potion.”

 

Emily stood there a moment, processing this, before she smirked and followed Iris over to her bed and dresser.  “You fancy him.  And he fancies you right back, Vlokx,” she teased, and Iris just smiled.  “Ugh, goddamn window,” Emily suddenly cursed, hurrying over to push it shut again.  The breeze still snuck through before she could lock it, though, and Iris shuddered, momentarily paralyzed.

 

“Iris,” Emily whispered, holding her shoulders, “Hey, remember who you are,” she demanded, forcing her friend to look her in the eyes.  “Are you with me?”

 

“I’m here,” Iris said, blue green eyes closing sadly, “I’m here.”

 

“Stay with me, okay?  Stay my Iris.”

 

“I’m here, I’m here,” she promised, and Emily leaned up to kiss her on the forehead, “I’ve got to go, though.  I don’t feel human in this room right now.”

 

“Be safe,” and Iris was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius groaned and rolled over.  When had he fallen asleep?  He reached up a hand to rub his face, listening to the sounds of the room around him.  James was just waking up, as well, though he was much noisier about it, throwing things about and kicking at his blankets.  Peter was snoring.  Remus was quietly flicking through a book, more than likely waiting for them to wake so they could go to breakfast, or lunch, whatever time it was.

 

He rolled again to find his clock: nine oh six.  Far too early.  He blinked, eyes opening to the morning sun, and Remus waved from his bed across from him.  He waved back before pushing himself up.

 

“I didn’t know Iris stayed over last night,” Remus said, and Sirius blinked.  He didn’t remember Iris being here.  At his confused expression, Remus pointed to the pants on the floor.  They were grey and sagging.  They were Sirius’, but they were his warmest, and he’d given them to Iris a few weeks ago.  He hadn’t worn them in a year, and seeing them out was a clear sign that Iris had been here.  But where was she?

 

Sirius sat up further, fear making his heart beat a little faster.  At the other corner of his bed, on the floor, was a large shirt, one clearly worn to bed.  A few steps from that was a piece of paper, a bracelet a step later, and a small tear in the rug right near the door.  Iris was a wolf.

 

“Fuck,” he gasped, nearly falling out of bed.

 

He scrambled to dress, throwing on a pair of jeans and a random t-shirt that lay crumpled on top of his dresser.  It smelled fine, and it was only badly wrinkled in the corner, so he shoved it over his head, threw on a sweatshirt, jumped into his boots, and he was collecting Iris’ things from the floor on his way out.

 

 _Help_.

 

He stared at her handwriting for a moment before sprinting out of the dormitory.  He wasn’t sure when she’d gained such a hold on him.

 

\--

 

Sirius looked down at the trembling, pale girl on the grassy ground before sighing and heading over to her.  “Did you know I have a tattoo?” Iris whispered, her body shaking as Sirius handed her panties and a bra.  “It’s of a feather.  Okay.”  He turned, and he pulled her sweatpants on before lifting her into a sitting position and pulling her white t-shirt on over her head.  “On my foot.”  He looked down as he lifted Iris in his arms, and there it was, a black cord wrapping around her ankle and drooping like a little bracelet before it tied together in two beads that held a black feather that traced down almost onto her toes.

 

“I’ve thought about tattoos before.  Do they hurt?” Sirius asked as he headed out of the forest.

 

“They tickle.  I have more.  Someday, I’ll show you.”

 

“I’ve never noticed.”

 

“Because, usually when I’m naked, you’re panicking.  Sirius Black, you’ve lost your touch.”

 

“Lost my touch, huh?  And how do you mean?”

 

“I heard you bedded girls quite often.”

 

“Not anymore.  I’ve got a beautiful distraction.”

 

But Iris was already drifting off, exhaustion claiming her.  Sirius sighed and held her close as he traipsed through the woods.  He didn’t know how to do this, how to treat Iris.  He felt so attached to her safety, and, yet, he pined for her, wanted her in ways he wasn’t sure he should.  It scared him and thrilled him.  He needed to separate the two, and, ultimately, her safety was far more important than his lust.

 

Lust.  He convinced himself that was it.

 

\--

 

Iris woke in an unfamiliar place, though she felt incredibly warm.  She blinked, squirming in the large comforter above her.  “PILLOW ATTACK!” a voice suddenly screamed, and Iris was surrounded by three different pillows.  Knees and elbows jabbed in strange places, and she laughed as she realized it was the Marauders.

 

“Guys, I just woke up!” she whined, swatting them away until they clambered onto the end of Sirius’ bed and watched as she sat up.  “What am I doing in here?”

 

“Sirius brought you back, mumbled something about lust, and left,” Remus said with a shrug, “We’re glad he found you, though.  We were worried.”

 

“Yea,” she sighed, rubbing her face, “Guys, I really think I’ve screwed this up.”

 

Iris pushed herself back against the headboard, leaving them room to spread out.  It was weird talking to them; only recently had she become more than just acquaintances with them, but she liked having them as friends, even if they didn’t talk much.

 

“What, with Sirius?” James asked, coming to sit next to her and draping an arm around her shoulders, “I think he’s a little confused himself.”  Iris frowned.  “Look at it this way,” he began again, his forehead wrinkling, “The first time he met you and you met him and there was something, you were a wolf and he was a dog.  Except he likes you, and you like him, but you two aren’t really sure where you stand because that’s a helluva a way to meet.”  Iris nodded.  She knew this, but she hated to admit it.

 

“What time is it?  Maybe I’ll go see if I can find him.”

 

“Nearly lunchtime.  Let’s grab something to eat first, okay?  Go get the girls, and then we can head downstairs.”

 

“Thank you, James,” Iris said, kissing him on the cheek, “Thank you all of you, really.  I’m glad I know you three.”

 

“Gosh, don’t make me blush,” Remus joked, pinching her toe before hopping off the bed and heading over to the bathroom.  Peter made his way back to his bed before James rumpled Iris’ hair and then went to pick up his book and continue his reading.  Iris looked at them a moment, happy, before collecting her things and heading out.

 

\--

 

Sirius sighed.

 

He shifted a little, and the girl on her knees in front of him looked up, pouting.  He grunted, guiding her back, and she happily continued.  He didn’t want this, but he wanted to forget.  He had to make his spell into a potion.  He didn’t want to remember her.  She didn’t know who he was, but she remembered his name.  A moan reverberated in the girl’s throat, and he grunted again.  She had accepted his date.  Why couldn’t she have just said no?

 

“Do you not want this?” the girl suddenly snapped, and Sirius looked down.  He didn’t, but she _had_ practically ripped his pants off.

 

He sighed again, turning his head away.  Everything about Iris screamed at him to keep away, but he couldn’t because he _wanted her so bad_ , in every lustful and loving way.  He wanted her like this girl wanted him, and he wanted to hold her hand and kiss her on the cheek.  He wanted to touch her and make her gasp, and he wanted to grow old with her and hold her through the night.  He wanted so much, and he knew he couldn’t have anything.

 

His hips jerked, and he groaned.  He was known for this sometimes, for letting random girls get to him.  “So, wanna repay the favor?” the girl whispered, standing and kissing him sloppily.

 

“I’d rather not,” he muttered before pulling his jeans up and stepping out of the classroom.  He was also known for that, completely ignoring whoever he let control him for a few minutes.

 

Iris, Iris, Iris.

 

Her name was like an echo in his head, and he hated it.

 

\--

 

_October fourteenth._

_1977._

The week came and went with no sign of Sirius.  Iris searched high and low for him, but, finally, Friday night came, and she still hadn’t heard word from him.  Currently, she was seated in the common room with Emily, who had just finished a conversation with one of the Order members through the fire.

 

“It’s getting worse, Iris,” Emily sighed, “This Voldemort guy is just… he’s so awful.  You should hear the things he does.”

 

“I’m not deaf, Em, I heard,” Iris chided, “Not only just your conversation, either.  People are starting to talk about him.  People are starting to notice outside of the Order.”

 

“Of course people are noticing outside of the Order.  And you, Iris, we have to figure out a cure.”

 

“I can take care of myself,” Iris muttered, crossing her arms and leaning back into the couch.

 

“You still on about this Sirius thing?  Look, he’ll be here tomorrow, don’t you worry.”

 

“I doubt it.  I haven’t seen him all week, and I feel like something is wrong.  I _knew_ I was going to screw this up.”

 

“Since when did you start fancying him anyway?”

 

“I don’t even know.  The night he saved my life?”

 

“He’s done that a few times, actually,” Emily reminded, tapping her friend on the nose, “I think I may find Remus in Hogsmeade tomorrow.”

 

“You two have been spending a rather large amount of time together recently.  What’s going on there?” she pushed playfully.

 

“Oh, nothing much,” she sighed, “Just a little teenage fun before my life gets sucked up by this war again.  Honestly, Iris, he’s a maniac.”  Iris frowned, but let her friend rant.  Emily had been like this more and more.  She started to forget her homework as she disappeared for raids.  Iris felt more alone than she had in the two years that Emily had vanished.

 

She just wanted to be free of all this madness.

 

\--

 

Sirius swore loudly as he nearly dropped a beaker of icky green _slurp_.  He couldn’t believe he was down here, in the dungeons, brewing this.  He had promised himself he wouldn’t, that he didn’t care, but, after waiting until the eleventh hour, he couldn’t allow himself not to.

 

“Bloody serious, mate?” a voice broke the bubbling silence around him, and Sirius _did_ drop the beaker this time, just so James could catch it.  “Really, Padfoot, I’ve never seen you act like this.  Where the hell have you been?”

 

“Drinking my life away,” he snapped, nodding toward the polished off bottles of Firewhisky, “And you?”

 

“Bringing you smokes to puff your life away, apparently,” James said, retrieving a pack of cigarettes from his pocket before dumping the invisibility cloak on one of the tables.  He hopped onto it after casting a few charms to make sure they’d be safe in here from eavesdroppers and teachers.

 

“Acting like what?” he growled, though he knew James’ answer.

 

“Like you’re in love,” James returned, looking smug as Sirius knocked a cigarette out.

 

“ _Incendio_ ,” he muttered angrily, and the smoky death came alive.

 

“Are you sure it’s really a good idea to drink and smoke while you brew a potion?  Can I at least help?”

 

“Why?  It’s not like you care.”

 

“I happen to like Iris very much, matter of fact.”

 

“Ugh.  _Iris_ ,” Sirius bit out, and James rolled his eyes.

 

“Shut up, you like her.”

 

“I love her, idiot,” Sirius confirmed before pushing his notes at James and rubbing his face.  “I’m tired, mate.”

 

“I assumed.  Sit down; I’ll take over for a while.  How long have you been at this?”

 

“Four hours.  It takes a long freaking time.  I’m not going tomorrow.  I’m just going to leave this somewhere that she’ll see it.”

 

“That’s rude of you.  Didn’t you ask her on a date?”

 

“I can’t do it.”

 

“And why’s that?”

 

“Because her safety comes first.”

 

“And what, you’re too dangerous for her?”

 

“Shove it, Prongs.”

 

“Sirius, look,” James sighed, palming his face and turning to his friend, “I care about you, and you’re killing yourself over this.  What is this really about?  Why won’t you let her in?”

 

“That’s the problem, I _have_ let her in.”

 

“So, what’s the big deal?”

 

“The big deal is I’m going to hurt her just like I do to every other girl!” Sirius shouted.

 

“Oh, _please_!” James rolled his eyes.  “You can’t be serious.”

 

“Fuck you!” Sirius growled, shoving James.

 

“POTION!” James exclaimed, reaching for the cauldron and steadying it.  “Honestly, you’re going to fight me?  You’re drunk.  Get a grip.”  Sirius glared at him a moment, but he didn’t try anything again.  “If you love her,” James suddenly said, breaking their silence, “You should tell her.”

 

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but then thought better of it and just sat there.  He _did_ love Iris.  Even after such a short time knowing her, he was sure of that.

 

\--

 

_October fifteenth._

_1977._

Iris frowned as she finished another crane, blew it from her hands, and watched it sail away on top of one of her four posters.  She sighed and leaned back against her pillows, a piece of blue paper sitting in her hand.  She hated that he hadn’t come, that she wouldn’t be going to Hogsmeade.  She’d never been before, even though she’d always wanted to, especially after hearing the magical stories about it while in school in Ireland.

 

“I’m ready.  What d’you think?”  Emily appeared from the bathroom, following her voice, and Iris smiled.  She was decked out in bright red tights underneath a white, flowery dress.

 

“You’re very pretty, and Remus is going to think the world of you,” Iris replied happily, “Honestly.”

 

“You sure you don’t want to come down to the common room and just see if he’s there?  He might be,” Emily offered, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“No,” Iris said firmly, “If we were still on, he would have come up with the potion, but he’s not here, so we’re not going.”

 

Emily frowned, putting a hand on Iris’ cheek.  “You should tell him.”

 

“Tell him what?” Iris spat, looking away.

 

“How much he means to you.  It might open him up.”

 

“I’ve tried that.”

 

“No, you’ve tried showing him.  _Tell_ him.”

 

“I don’t see the difference.”

 

“Stop being stubborn.  I have to leave.  I hate being fashionably late.  It’s so rude.  Be good, and I’ll see you later, okay?  Kisses,” Emily said as she hugged her friend and stood to leave.  Iris watched her, a certain sadness tugging at her heart.  She hated that she had to stay behind.  She needed to figure out what was wrong with her.

 

Sitting up suddenly, Iris smiled.  She hurried over to her desk where she scribbled out a quick note, slipped into her shoes, and then turned to leave.  Standing in her way was a great black dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	6. Chapter 6

Iris blinked, not really sure of what she was seeing.  The dog bowed its head, eyes closing, and it almost looked apologetic.  And then a wolf memory flickered past her blue green eyes, seeing this dog playing and wrestling with her.

 

“Sirius,” she barely whispered, and, right before her eyes, the dog had transformed, and there stood Sirius Black, his naked skin tan against the pale morning light and his soft curls hanging around a face of sorrow.  Tied to his right wrist was a vial; tied to his left was a tiny bag charmed to fit many items.

 

There seemed to be so many things he wanted to say, but, at the same time, no way to say them, and so he simply held out his arm, straightened so that the vial dangled precariously from the string.  Iris stepped forward, untying it, leaving him to dress.  She stared at the pastel yellow liquid inside, and Sirius touched it with a finger.

 

“Gold.  Gold, and it’s permanent.  I’m getting there.”

 

“Sirius,” she said again, and, before she knew it, she was wrapping her arms around him and holding onto him tightly, and he was grasping for her, begging for a grip on her before she disappeared forever.

 

\--

 

_November second._

_1977._

Iris sat curled at the foot of Sirius’ bed, her back pressed against one of the four posters while she bent over her parchment, scribbling furiously.  The room was filled with similar sounds, as all of the boys were working on homework.  It was nearing midnight, and Lily had screamed so loud at James that he’d just stomped off upstairs, quickly followed by Remus and Peter.  When Sirius stood, Iris had, too, and Lily had just stared at her in shock, but Iris hadn’t bothered to say anything as she followed the boys upstairs.  Over the past few weeks, she couldn’t compare her friendship with them to any she’d had before.  Even Emily, her best friend, had faded from her mind again, though Iris attributed that to her sudden disappearance the second-to-last week in October for some raid.

 

Iris looked up as Sirius’ toe nudged her, and she smiled at him when she found him still writing away.  She poked his toe while he kept nudging her until he pulled back, ran a hand through his curls, and packed away his things.  “I’m going to sleep,” he announced, finally looking over at Iris.  She was already putting her things away in her pile that she’d brought along before crawling up to slip under the blankets next to Sirius.

 

The window in the seventh year girl’s room was horrible and broken, and she always felt so afraid sleeping in there.  Quite opposite that, she loved spending any free time with Sirius that she could, though she’d never admit that out loud.  After some grumbling from Sirius, the other boys finally tucked in, and they were all sleeping by the time midnight rolled around.

 

When Iris awoke, it was still early, and the boys were still asleep.  She detached herself from Sirius carefully before climbing out of bed.  She found it strange sometimes, how they slept, how she would perch on the edge of the bed while he rested comfortably, how she would drift off into sleep, and how she would wake curled in his arms.  The first few times, they’d turned red and embarrassed when they woke to each other, but now it had become routine, something Iris wasn’t sure she could live without.

 

With these thoughts, she headed off toward the bathroom, a small vial curled in her hand.  She wanted to test how effective Sirius’ potion was, even in its early stages of just yellow.  It had progressed from pastel to a little darker, though, and she was excited.  Hogsmeade had been easy enough.  They’d flitted from store to store, always staying in the warmth, and the little bouts outside didn’t bother her at all until the carriage ride where she shook so violently, Sirius actually transfigured and sat on her lap, his heat radiating through her.

 

And so now she locked the door and started the tap for the bath, letting it get as cold as possible before she undressed and tipped the vial back down her throat.  She immediately felt like her skin was on fire before it surpassed, all in just a second, and then she felt firmly _Iris_.  So she stepped into the water, to test it, slid all the way down until she was sitting, hands gripping the edges.  She lost herself almost immediately.

 

Sirius awoke with a startle, head full of the sounds of yelping and scratching and growling.  He frowned, pushing himself up onto his elbows the same time that James did.  “Do you hear that, too?” James asked groggily, rubbing his face.  Sirius turned to shake Iris, but she wasn’t there.  His head snapped to the bathroom door where something heavy thudded once, twice, and a third time before he vaulted out of bed and threw his pillow at Remus’ head.  Remus groaned and started to turn around until a howl ripped from their bathroom.  Now Peter was awake, too.

 

“Is that Iris?” Peter asked cautiously, sitting up.

 

“You guys need to be alert when I open this door.”  They nodded, and so Sirius turned the knob and Iris the wolf shot out of the bathroom before skidding to a halt and swiveling her head.  Immediately, she took notice of the boys and her ears flattened.

 

“What happened?” Sirius asked softly, and she turned at the sound of his voice.  Then she was shaking, shaking so much that her limbs bent and she sunk to the ground, whimpering in pain.  As suddenly as the shaking had started, it stopped, and Iris ripped out of her fur coat and into the skin of her human body.

 

The three boys’ eyes were wide as Sirius sighed and knelt down beside her.  “What happened?” he asked again as she trembled.

 

“I was trying to test it,” she gasped out, closing her still-wolf eyes.  “It was stupid, I know.  I drank the potion and got in a cold bath and—” but Iris couldn’t finish.  Her voice slipped away into a shaking gasp, and she slipped back out of her skin and into her fur.

 

“What were you thinking?” Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

 

“What’s going on?” James asked slowly.

 

“I think she’s unstable.  The potion isn’t ready for direct testing like that.  She’s—”  And Iris was human again.

 

“I’m going to be sick,” she gasped, and Sirius jumped forward, scooping her up in his arms and dashing into the bathroom.  He held her hair back as she groaned and her face disappeared into the toilet bowl.  When she finished, Sirius helped her into the clothes she’d left on the floor before carrying her back into the room and onto the bed.

 

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked, and she nodded.  Sirius sighed and rubbed his face, sitting on the edge of his bed.  “Promise me you won’t do that again.”  It wasn’t a question, didn’t even leave room for argument.  Sirius was demanding her.

 

“I just wanted to know if—”

 

“It doesn’t matter, Iris,” he cut her off, “It doesn’t matter.  I’m… Prongs, are you coming?”  Sirius made his way toward the door, and the other three boys headed after him, throwing Iris apologetic glances as they went.

 

After she’d dressed and gone down to breakfast, she headed to Potions alone and was the first one to arrive.  Students slowly trickled in, and Lily found her seat next to her before long; Remus and she were Iris’ partners.

 

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing Lily said, and Iris turned to her, arching an eyebrow, “I was awfully rude to James, and I’ve apologized to him.  I don’t know why I exploded.”

 

“Probably because you like him now, and it’s confusing you.”  
  
“Shut up,” Lily snapped, but she was smiling.

 

“What did it finally?  I mean, I know I wasn’t here the past six years to watch your ongoing feud, as you always put it, but I’ve heard plenty of stories.”

 

“He badgered me into hanging out once over the summer, and, after the first time, we did again a few more times because he was such a gentleman, and he seems to have carried that attitude into the school year.  Then again, he is still sometimes a git, but whatever.  It’s rather nice out today.  Wanna throw snowballs at the boys after class?”

 

As Iris nodded, Remus sat down on her other side as Peter walked by him.  James and Sirius didn’t show.  “Where are they?” Iris asked softly, and Remus frowned.

 

“You really pushed him this morning, Iris,” he sighed, “He’s trying so hard to do things right with you, and you just push and push, and he’s so afraid he’s going to lose you to the winter.  It’s coming, Iris.  Winter is coming so fast, and we’re all so goddamn scared.”

 

Iris lapsed into silence, and she refused to speak for the rest of class.  What did Remus mean, Sirius was trying to do things right?  What did he hope to gain from that?  It struck Iris at the end of class: her as a girlfriend.

 

\--

 

_November eighteenth._

_1977._

Iris added a silver crane to the top of her pile, which was sitting comfortably on the couch cushion next to her.  James was on her right, arm resting on the back of the couch, with his feet kicked up and a book in his lap.  He flipped the page, groaning.  Sirius responded with an identical noise.

 

“Did you get to the part when he started describing the dead flowers around him, signifying that he knew he was about to be cursed?” Remus laughed, and the two boys groaned again.

 

“This book is ridiculous.  Why are we reading this again?”

 

“To prove to Lily that you’re both not moronic gits.  I don’t know why you accepted the bet that you could finish it.”

 

“This is literally the most terrible thing I’ve ever read,” James said before letting his head fall back.

 

“Lily,” Sirius said, which caught their attention.  “Oh my God, Lily.”  And he was gone.  They stared after him, confusion written on their faces, but Sirius just kept going.  His book fell to the ground and he scrambled out of the portrait hole.  It was nearly curfew, but he knew that didn’t matter for her.  She was Head Girl, and so she wouldn’t get in trouble for being caught out late.

 

“Lily,” he gasped as he reached the dungeons and threw the door open where they were keeping the potion.  They’d spoken to Slughorn about it after posing the idea to Dumbledore, and so the room had been sealed off just for them.  The redhead looked up at his voice, expression curious.

 

“I’ve got it.  I know what it needs.  I didn’t think of it because it’s so rare, but it makes perfect sense.  Lily.”

 

She finally understood, straightening.  They needed the nectar of a golden lily.  Slughorn had taught them about it not three weeks ago, though they hadn’t given it much thought.  Golden lilies were almost impossible to find and even more impossible to extract the nectar from.  But they were like little fires.  They would sustain Iris in her human form.

 

“Where would we ever get one, though?” Lily said with a frown, “They’re practically extinct.”

 

“We have to talk to Slughorn.  Right now.  _Come on_ ,” he almost shouted when she didn’t move, and Lily followed after his quick pace as he rambled on, “He said that they were most common in the mountains of New Zealand, which still doesn’t make sense to me, because it’s so cold, but if we could get there, by apparition or something, we could find them.”

 

“That would be so dangerous, Sirius,” Lily reminded, turning a corner and almost slamming into him.  He’d careened to a halt before McGonagall.

 

“Professor?” Lily said, coming around Sirius.  Her voice dropped away as she noticed the tears glistening in McGonagall’s eyes.  She was holding Iris’ wand.

 

“She’s gone,” she whispered, her voice shaking, “Someone smashed the window in your room, Black, someone outside, and she shifted instantly.  Potter and Pettigrew just barely managed to get her out of the tower and the school.  We don’t know where she is, and it’s likely she won’t change back until spring.”

 

Sirius swayed, blinking, and Lily quickly steadied him as she held on to his arm as James came sprinting around the corner.  “Professor!” he exclaimed, doubling his pace until he caught sight of the pale Sirius and open-mouthed Lily.

 

“Is she in the forest?” Sirius asked very quietly, his arm cold in Lily’s grasp.  “ _IS SHE IN THE FOREST_?” he thundered when no one answered, and James just nodded.  Before they could say or do anything, he’d transfigured, right in front of McGonagall’s eyes, and was gone, bounding off toward the entrance hall.

 

“Potter, please escort Miss Evans and Pettigrew back to Gryffindor tower.  I will inform the headmaster.”  And, with that, McGonagall hurried away, leaving the three friends to stand there in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius sat with his head in his arms, his naked body shaking in the cold of the night.  He knew it wasn’t possible, knew there was no way _ever_ that he would turn into a wolf, but he still sat there, letting his body go numb and his thoughts turn to nothing more than shakes.  He would die out here, if that’s what it took.

 

Iris watched, wolf eyes confused.  They were so like her, blue and green, and she peered through them, a human memory caught in a wolf’s body.  She knew this boy, knew the curve of his shoulders and the tumble of his hair.  She recognized him from her other life, from the one where the touch of warmth sealed her skin and the touch of _him_ brought her shivers that she didn’t fear.  She sat down on her hind legs, her front paws tucked underneath her chin.  She _knew_ him.

 

Sirius cried out.  He knew he was dying, knew that this agony ripping inside of him were his final moments.  It infuriated him.  When had she decided to mean so much to him?  When had letting his life slip away become an okay action for her?  Why wasn’t she here?

 

Iris whined, softly, watching him.  Her stomach squeezed, and she closed her eyes in anguish, so human.  When she opened them again, she could see so many colors.  The dark brown of his hair, masked black by her wolf eyes, the pale tone of his skin, the shimmering pine needles blanketed under snow in the moonlight, and this: his blood.  He was dying.

 

Sirius gasped as blood leaked down his arm.  He hadn’t even known he’d been hurt, but now he could feel the warm trickle of red.  He tried to reach up a hand to feel where the wound was, but he couldn’t move his fingers, let alone his arms.  He would be frozen.

 

Iris approached him softly, and she watched his body shake, his eyes closed to the pain.  She didn’t know how this was possible, how she had two feet and two hands instead of four paws.  She knelt before him, her shoulders already shaking again.

 

“Sirius,” she whispered, and he sighed.

 

“Sirius, go back.”  It seemed that was the only push he needed, for he’d transfigured in a flash as her words fell quiet again.  “Go back,” she repeated, closing her blue green eyes as tears escaped down her cheeks, and the big, black dog bounded away from her.  The shake of her shoulders claimed her.

 

\--

 

_November twentieth._

_1977._

“James!”

 

James and Remus looked up as whoever was calling for them continued to pound and scream on their door.  When it got louder, James got off of his bed where they were playing Exploding Snaps and hurried over to the door, pulling it open to find Lily standing there, panting and wild-eyed.

 

“Remus, good.  Where’s Peter?”

 

“Not sure,” James said, “What’s going on?”

 

“Sirius is back.  He’s in the Hospital Wing.  He collapsed just outside McGonagall’s door, and she brought him up.”

 

James and Remus sprinted out of the room, Lily behind them.  They were stopped, however, just outside the portrait hole where Emily was standing.  “Everything alright?” she asked as they careened to a halt.

 

“What are you doing here?” James snapped, advancing on her as Remus scrambled to hold him back.  “Where have you been?”

 

“I was helping Dumbledore with some rather secret business,” she retorted sharply, glaring at him, “Why?”

 

“Iris is gone, _Emily_ ,” he growled, “And Sirius almost just died.  You don’t belong here.”

 

And James left, before anyone could say anything, and Emily just stared after him in shock.  Remus touched Lily’s arm before jogging after his friend.  “Gone?” Emily repeated, looking to Lily.

 

“Really, Em.  What were you thinking?  It’s the middle of November.  James is right.  You _don’t_ belong here.  Not with us as your friends and not in Iris’ life.”

 

“You don’t know _anything_ about Iris!” Emily screamed as Lily stalked away.

 

“I know _everything_!” Lily shouted, stopping and turning, “I know more than you’ll ever know about Iris.  Sure, you may have been there for the past years during her transformations, but you don’t know what she’s been through the past few months because you aren’t a good enough friend to stay around and be there for her!  I know you’re off fighting Death Eaters or whatever, but Iris’ life is important, too!”

 

“More important than the lives of the wizarding world?  I think not!  If I can help save our world, then I don’t mind the sacrifices!” Emily shrieked.

 

Lily just stared in horror before shaking her head and running to catch up with the boys.  When she arrived, they were already in the Hospital Wing doorway and trying to persuade Madame Pomfrey to let them in.  However, when Lily arrived, Pomfrey seemed relieved and allowed them in.

 

“I was just saying, I was given word from Professor McGonagall to only let you in with Miss Evans.”

 

“When did you get so famous?” James teased, sending her a smile before letting Pomfrey lead them through the maze of beds until they arrived at Sirius’, where he was fast asleep and tucked under a few blankets.

 

“He nearly lost his fingers and toes, stupid boy,” Pomfrey sighed, “What was he doing so far out in the forest in the winter night?”

 

The three refused to reply, though Pomfrey hadn’t expected much.  She retreated, leaving them alone with their friend.  “Something brought him back,” Lily said quietly, voicing their thoughts, “And somehow, that something was Iris.”

 

“Do you think she’s human?” Remus asked quietly.

 

“Not in this weather,” Lily sighed, “But maybe she was, just to save him.  Maybe it happened somehow.”

 

“We’ll find her,” James promised, and Lily allowed him to put his arm around her shoulders, “Full moon is in five days.  We’ll find her.”  And they stood like that, the three friends looking down on their fourth, holding a promise they couldn’t keep.

 

\--

 

_December fifth._

_1977._

Peter looked up as the door to their dorm room opened, and gave a squeal as Sirius stepped inside.  He was instantly bombarded by a flying hug from Peter, laughing as he rumpled his hair and hugged him hello.  Remus and James were already in line, and Sirius couldn’t help but smile.

 

“I didn’t know she was releasing you yet,” James said, going back over to his trunk as Sirius flopped down on his bed.

 

“Yea, she figured I wouldn’t stop complaining that I needed to pack since we’re leaving tomorrow for the holidays, and so she cut me loose.  I’m all working, so I don’t know why I’ve been there so long, but I bet it’s to do with Dumbledore visiting me _seven_ times to talk about what’s happened.”

 

His friends eyed him curiously, all smirking.  They continued to chatter a while until there was a knock on the door, and Peter opened it to find Lily standing there, looking rather shy.  “Sirius, can I have a word?” she asked quietly, nodding toward the hall.  He shrugged, going off outside and closing the door behind him.

 

“What’s this about?”

 

“I spoke to Slughorn,” she whispered conspiratorially, pulling a small note from her robes and handing it to him.  He looked over the flowing handwriting, Lily’s, before Slughorn’s interrupted.  _nectar of a golden lily, New Zealand mountains_ was Lily’s; _guarded by a silver dragon_ was Slughorn’s.  Sirius gaped at her, disbelieving.

 

“We can’t pull this off ourselves,” she said, eyes flashing back to the door.

 

“We can’t ask them to join us.  _Especially_ not Emily,” he added.

 

“I wouldn’t ask Emily for help if my life depended on it,” Lily snapped, “But we have to ask them.  Please, Sirius.  We can’t do this ourselves, and they could help.”

 

Though he seemed rather reluctant, he caved, “Fine.  But we’re not bringing it up yet.  We wait until we’re away from Hogwarts.”

 

“The train?”

 

“No,” Sirius shook his head, “Better be at James’ house.”

 

“Oh, and how do you propose I explain to my parents that I’d like to go to Potter’s house over vacation more than once?”

 

“You stay the whole holiday, of course,” Sirius said with an evil smile, “Tell them you’re dating him, and you want to spend Christmas with him.”

 

“They’re my family!” she snapped.

 

“Aren’t they supposed to be on a trip at some point anyway?”

 

“Well, yes,” Lily said with a frown, “But that’s beside the point!”

 

“And you weren’t going with them because?”

 

“Because Iris was supposed to be staying with me,” she finally spat, and Sirius just stared.

 

“She was?”

 

“She didn’t want to go back to the orphanage, and I don’t blame her, but I also felt bad about her staying here for the holidays, so I said she could come home with me.  And now she’s a bloody wolf, and I may never see her again.  Fine.  Fine.  I’ll be there by the end of the week.  Have you spoken to Potter about this?”

 

“I’m sure he’ll be delighted.”

 

\--

 

_December ninth._

_1977._

 

He certainly was.

 

“Lily Evans is going to be staying at _my house_ for winter break?” James asked, disbelieving.  Sirius just nodded, flashing the letter he’d received in James’ face again.  “Can I please read it?”

 

Sirius cleared his throat, and Peter sniggered.  The three of them were gathered in the living room, lounging around and being lazy.  “ _Black – I hate you.  Really.  Be more convincing, why don’t you?  My parents immediately jumped at the idea of me spending the holidays somewhere else.  Turns out they’re leaving in three days time.  It’s Friday morning.  I have to pack.  I’ll be there by afternoon.  – Lily  ps, hi James, :)_ ”

 

Sirius shook his head.  He hadn’t read Lily’s ps the first time, but now that he did, he could do nothing but stare at the parchment in front of him.

 

“Are you shagging her?” Sirius shouted.

 

“ _No_!” James exclaimed, looking mortified, “We’re just friends!”

 

“Since when did you become friends?” Peter asked, shocked.

 

“Since, well, a while ago.  We’re not friends _friends_ , but she doesn’t hate me most times.”

 

“Let’s just hope it stays that way,” Sirius muttered, heaving himself up, “C’mon, I wanna play Quidditch.  Moony should be here any minute.  I get Peter.”

 

“Why do you want me?” Peter squeaked, getting up to follow them.

 

“Cos the only thing you’re even remotely good at is flying a broomstick.  And I don’t feel like playing with James and watching him smile dazedly every five seconds.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I want to either!” Remus’ voice rang down the hall, and they all cheered obnoxiously before exiting through the back door, waiting for their friend to join them.

 

They spent the next two hours flying around and playing a makeshift Quidditch game until James’ mother appeared, calling them in to help Lily with her things upstairs.  Sirius had informed her and James’ father previous to James finding out.  Lily hugged them all hello, smiling brightly.  She seemed happy enough to be here, despite all that Sirius knew was going through her mind.  Her worries were finally released around two o’clock in the morning when Sirius knocked softly on her door and opened it to find her grabbing a notebook, a pen, and a blanket.

 

“Good, you’re already here.  I was just coming to get you.  I’ll get James, if you want.”

 

“What’s going on between you two?” Sirius asked, leaning against the doorway.

 

Lily sighed, meeting his gaze.  She came right up to him, and she shook her head.  “I don’t know.  A lot of things.  I think I like him, but I can’t be sure, and I don’t want to let that interfere right now.”

 

“Is that why you’ve been so nice to him?  I’m just curious.  James is my friend, and he’s really letting his hopes soar right now.”

 

“He should.  I might give him a chance soon,” Lily admitted before pushing Sirius out of her room and closing her door.  She headed off down the hall where James and Sirius stayed while he went in the opposite direction to get Remus and Peter.  The two often frequented the Potter’s house, as Peter disliked his home and Remus felt continually bored at his.

 

When they finally met, the three boys groggy-eyed and curious, they settled in the living room while Sirius brought a fire to life.  “We—” Lily began, indicating her and Sirius, “—have something we need to discuss with you three.”  This instantly awoke James, who looked alert and angry.  “Not something like that, you idiot,” she scoffed, hitting him lightly, “Something about Iris.”

 

James nodded, settling back into the couch and curling an arm around Lily’s shoulders; she didn’t object, to which Sirius smirked.  Peter had taken one of the armchairs, so Sirius settled next to Remus on the other couch.  “We know what needs to be added to the potion,” Sirius began, watching as his three friends leaned forward a little, waiting.

 

“But it’s very rare,” Lily continued, “And very dangerous to obtain.  We know where it is and what’s guarding it, and, well,” she paused to swallow before looking down at her hands, “We were going to leave this break and get it ourselves before we found out what was guarding it, and now we’re asking for your help.”

 

A silence fell over the group, though it wasn’t tense or worrisome.  Instead, it was inquisitive, and James was the first to speak.  “Exactly what are we up against?”

 

Sirius looked at Lily for a long moment before rising and pulling a small map of New Zealand out of his pocket.  Together, he and Lily explained where they were headed and what had to be done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> This is getting so exciting! Gosh, I just love this so much. And, well, I guess I’ll attribute the fact that I’ve been listening to the Game of Thrones soundtrack nonstop recently to the reason why this is so epic, haha. I’ve finally begun my third book, too, The Awakening, which is absolutely thrilling. So, if you’ve never read or watched GOT, get on it! I still haven’t jumped into the series of books yet because I’m doing a Harry Potter reread, but I do have the books and plan to read them after I’m done. Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

_Jaard –_

_I received your confirmation letter that you still lived in the mountains.  As I said, I was given your address by a professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  He said you’d be willing to help us.  Horace.  I am writing this two days before we’re due to arrive.  There will be five of us, and we should be just a few miles from your house.  Thank you._

_\- the Marauders_

_December seventeenth._

_1977._

“Okay, my parents are gone for the next three days.  We’ll have those days free of any witches or wizards looking for us.  I’ve left them a note, but, knowing them, they’ll still send someone out after us.  They should have no idea where we are,” James whispered early that morning.  They were all packed and dressed for travel, though they wished to be back home before Christmas.

 

“Let’s check everything over again before Remus and Peter arrive,” Lily said, touching her pocket where her wand was.  They ran through a checklist they’d created, and they were just finishing when Remus came in.  They waited for Peter before running through it once more with them.

 

“Are we all ready?” James asked the group as they nodded.

 

“Alright, remember, Sirius has where we’re going,” Lily picked up, tapping her head, “Don’t touch him until we’re absolutely sure we’re ready to leave.  Does anyone need to use the loo before we go?”  They laughed at her, but shook their heads nonetheless.  “Excellent.  Okay.”

 

They linked their fingers before Lily looked to Sirius, who nodded once, and then she reached forward and grasped his hand, shutting her eyes as her feet left the ground.  This terrified her, using apparition, especially since they’d only had a few lessons, but it was the only way they could travel quickly.  Regardless, they’d practiced the entire week before in James’ backyard, so she knew they would be okay.

 

And they were.  The moment she felt the wind, Lily knew they were.  She opened her eyes, and her breath came out in a white gasp.  The Marauders looked around at the snow-covered mountains surrounding them in awe.  Lily smiled as she reached for her wand and then pointed it at her small bag.  “Accio camera,” she whispered, and the small wizard device shot into her palm.

 

“I can take it for you!” a voice called over to them, and they turned to see a man walked toward them, wrapped in thick layers like they were.  He had curly black hair that hung around his face, though it was much shorter than Sirius’.  “You must be the Marauders,” he said as he got closer.

 

Lily nodded.  “You got my letter, then?  My name is Lily.  I’m sorry we were so vague.”

 

“Quite alright.  Name’s Ian Jaard,” he introduced, shaking each of their hands, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  He took the camera from Lily’s hands before they all bunched together, smiling and waving.  When they’d finished, Ian led them through the whipping wind and snow.  It was only when they’d reached his house did the explaining begin.

 

“Professor Slughorn said he wrote you, yes?” Lily asked as they shed their jackets and cloaks.

 

“He did,” Ian replied, going over to the fire, “At least three weeks ago, long before I received your first letter, Lily.  He explained to me the circumstances, and I agreed to help.  I’ve met a few like Iris before, ones that have sought refuge in the caves of the mountains because they do not wish lives as inhuman humans any longer.  They’ve formed packs, and they live not far from here.  They’ll never be anything but wolves again.  Your friend, though, it sounds as if she is still different from them.  Different because she is dying,” he confirmed, and they nodded.  “Sit, I’ll get you something warm to drink.”  They took seats up on his two couches, and he returned before long.  “I won’t be living here much longer.  The wolves don’t need me anymore.  The relationship between them and Ariel is completely solid now.”

 

“Ariel is the dragon, right?”

 

“Aye, she is.  I’ve spoken with her a few times about the lilies, and she seems a little reluctant, though I’m sure, with some persuasion, she could be convinced.  She wants to speak to the five of you.  I can take you up there in four days time, but not before then.  I’m leaving tomorrow morning for a small run with the wolves.  I’ve got to set up the enchantments for when I leave, and the journey is long and hard.  You cannot travel there by magic, just as you cannot travel to Ariel by magic.  When we visit her, we will be on foot,” Ian said, much to their dismay, “I’m sorry I could not tell you all this in a letter, but things are not safe.  There are powers that are rising, ones that I dare not meddle with.  Ah, you think I don’t see what goes on in our world just because I live in the mountains.  I do.  I know what darkness threatens the wizarding world.”

 

The five grew silent for a moment before James spoke, “Do you mind if we have a moment alone?”

 

“Not at all.  I’ll go upstairs and make sure everything is ready for you.”

 

As Ian left, they turned to one another.  “You’re sure he can be trusted?” Remus asked skeptically.

 

“Slughorn said he taught him, and that he’s known him all his life.  He still keeps in contact with him, and he is certain he isn’t a dark wizard.  You heard him,” Lily said.  “Look, guys, I know this is strange, and I know you’re still kind of angry with me for not saying anything until just a few days ago, but I wanted to make sure we actually had somewhere to go before I gave you any hope.”

 

“I just can’t believe how lucky we are,” Sirius laughed, “Trust us to go on some dangerous quest only to have a house to stay in, all warm and cozy.  And a dragon that talks and can be persuaded.  For Christ’s sake, this is going to be easy.”

 

James snorted.  “So says you.  I don’t think all of us should go to see Ariel.  We don’t really know what we’re up against, and I don’t want all of our things snatched up the second we leave that house.  Ian says we can’t travel by magic, but who knows if he’s telling the truth?  I’m sorry, Lily, but I’m finding it a little difficult to believe him.”

 

“No, I understand.  It seems weird to me, too.  I almost wish we could see the wolves, know for sure that he is actually telling the truth about that.”

 

“Maybe we can,” Remus butt in, “What if Sirius and I go with him?  I can say I’m interested in seeing other wolves that are like Iris because I’m different from them, and I’m curious, and Sirius can use it as an excuse for research?”

 

“Except both of those reasons are valid,” Sirius said with a grin, “I would like to see them.  It would help Lily and I understand Iris a little more.  And, that way, James, Lily, and Peter can watch over the house and see if anything goes weird.  What about with Ariel, though?”

 

“You need to go,” James said, looking at Lily, “She probably already knows about you.  And Sirius,” he added, “But someone else should be there, just in case.”

 

“I’ll go,” Peter offered, “He won’t expect anything, and I can escape easily.  Rats are tiny.”

 

“I’ll come with, as well,” James said, “But we’ll only guard.  I don’t think more than two should go in.  Not counting Ian, of course.  Is that okay, Remus?”

  
“That’s perfect.  That way, someone is at the house and someone is watching over Sirius and Lily.  For right now, though, we need to rest up and ask Ian about tomorrow.”

 

And so they set off to do just that.

 

\--

 

_December eighteenth._

_1977._

James looked down at Lily, smiling as she leaned up on her tiptoes to wave goodbye to the retreating backs of Sirius, Remus, and Ian.  He wound his fingers with hers, and she just squeezed his hand.  And when she looked back up at him, her eyes were shining.

 

“They’re going to be okay,” he promised, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her close to him.  She clung to him tightly, sighing.

 

“James, I’m afraid we’re never going to find Iris.”

 

“We will.  I promise.”

 

They stood like that for some time until Lily finally pulled back, though only a little, and she turned her eyes up to him, looking hopeful.  And they stared, for almost a minute, until James lifted one hand and threaded it in her hair, his heart thudding quickly.  He bent down, and the last thing he saw before his lips touched Lily’s were her eyes closing.  She sighed into him, and he kissed her lovingly, adoringly, conveying all that he wanted with her.  And she gave him every last bit of her, kissing him back with all of her.

 

Peter interrupted them by choking on his cereal and dropping his bowl with a crash.  They instantly separated, Lily blushing furiously and James smirking.  “You okay there, Wormtail?” he laughed, going over to push him into the kitchen and clean up his mess.  He sent a warm smile over at Lily, and she returned it wholeheartedly until he was gone, and she gasped, eyes closing, heart pounding.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to the air and was gone.

 

\--

 

Lily ran frantically toward the gates at the end of the long road to Hogwarts, her breath coming in short bursts and heart threatening to jump out of her.  This was something she had not thought through all the way, though it seemed fate was smiling upon her.  Because when she tried to pass through the gates, she was allowed, and she only paused a second to marvel before she was off again.  She ran straight through the entrance hall and down the hallways leading toward the dungeons.  She knew she had very limited time to do this before the sun was down and it was too cold and too dark for her to travel any longer.

 

And so she took a large glass container from her charmed purse and scooped the cooled dark yellow potion into it before sealing it shut with magic.  She cast countless charms over the container so that it would stay, though she needn’t worry about the potion changing.  It had been sitting for almost two weeks now, as she and Sirius had discussed.  They’d decided it had to be drunk cold and stilled for the true effects to take place.

 

And so, when she’d finished and stuffed the container in her purse, she took off again, sneaking past the staff and back out onto the lawn.  She made a beeline for the Forbidden Forest where she pulled the Marauders’ Map out of her back pocket and touched it with her wand.

 

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” she whispered, casting a glance around her before looking back down.  She was immediately startled as she found Iris’ name almost instantly, and she looked up, jumping a little as she saw two eyes, one blue and one green, staring intently at her from beyond the trees.  It was almost as if Iris knew Lily was there for her.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she said very softly, folding up the map after she’d wiped it.  She slowly put it back in her pocket as she continued to step forward, Iris’ unblinking eyes holding still.  “I want to help you.  I don’t know if you can understand me, but it’s Lily.  Sirius loves you, Iris.”  The names seemed to trigger something in the wolf because her snout appeared, sniffing the air.  Lily tried to remain calm, tried to give off no sense of fear.

 

It worked, for Iris stepped out of the shadows of the trees, though she approached no farther than that.  It was only when Lily reached out a hand that she reacted again, leaning into her touch.  It was so human, the way she submitted to Lily’s touch and closed her eyes.

 

Lily bit her lip as she knelt, holding back her tears.  She sunk to her knees quickly, almost scaring Iris, but she just continued to thread her fingers through the wolf’s fur as she gripped her wand in her other hand.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, bending her head so that it rested against Iris’, “I’m so sorry.  _Petrificus Totalus_.”  And Iris was frozen in place, stiff and staring.

 

Lily just hurriedly wiped her eyes before grasping the wolf around the middle, closing her eyes, and apparating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	9. Chapter 9

“What were you thinking?” James roared as Lily approached the house, but then he noticed the wolf in her arms, and he gaped.  He ran out, shouting for Peter, and he took Iris from Lily’s arms, running off toward the house as Peter passed him to collect Lily and make sure she made it inside alright.  When they entered the house, James just shook his head.  “How did you do this?” he demanded.

 

“She was just there.  Right at the front of the forest.  She let me approach her.”

 

“And what if she hadn’t been?  Were you just going to traipse around until you found her?  Lily, you—” he broke off as she showed him the map.

 

“I took it while you were sleeping last night.  I’m sorry, but I had to.  The boys haven’t returned yet, right?”

 

“No, not yet,” Peter answered as he closed the door, “They should be home by nightfall, though.  Ian said he was hoping to not travel by the stars with guests around.  I guess he does it all the time, but he doesn’t worry about his safety, usually.  Apparently, there are all sorts of creatures in these mountains.”

 

“Well, we’ll be meeting one of them tomorrow,” James said with a sigh, “Now, what are we going to do with her?”  He pointed at the stiff wolf, whose eyes were still closed.

 

“We’re going to turn her into a human,” Lily answered nonchalantly, shrugging.

 

\--

 

“I just can’t believe how much like regular wolves they seem,” Remus said for the third time as they clunked the snow from their boots and shook off their many jackets.

 

“They’ve sunk very much into themselves, though they’re still very human in their minds,” Ian said with a shrug, smiling.

 

“Thank you for letting us coming along,” Sirius said, clapping him on the back, “It was definitely an eye-opener.”

  
“No problem at all.  I—” Ian stopped suddenly, and the two boys watched as he pulled out his wand in a flash, pointing it toward the kitchen doorway.

 

Sirius and Remus looked carefully, and Sirius almost fell over.

 

“Hey,” Iris said very softly, looking only at him.

 

“How—what?” Sirius managed, shaking his head and taking a stumbling step forward.  “Iris,” he finally gasped, and Ian’s eyes went wide as he stared at the blonde girl.

 

“This is Iris?” he asked of Remus, who nodded disbelievingly.  “I thought she was a wolf.”

 

“So did we.”

 

“Lily, she—uh—she came and got me,” Iris said, wrapping her arms around herself, “She took some of the potion with her, and then she found me in the forest and stunned me, pretty much.  Brought me here.  She, James, and Peter only just managed to get me warm enough a half hour ago.  They’ve been catching me up since then, but I was going out here for a breather.”

 

“Iris,” Sirius repeated, and he crossed the room suddenly in large strides.  He grasped her face when they were close enough, and Remus broke out in a large beam as Sirius crushed their mouths together.

 

“He’s been waiting to do that for some time,” Ian laughed.

 

Tears leaked out of Iris’ eyes as she wound her fingers around Sirius’ arms, gripping him tightly.  Sirius deepened their kiss, pulling them closer and closer until they were meshed together, Sirius and Iris.  When they finally parted, Iris gasped and Sirius leaned their foreheads together.

 

“I love you,” he whispered, to which she let out an airy laugh and shook her head.

 

“And I love you,” she murmured.  “I’m so glad I’m here, in your arms, where I belong.”

 

“As am I.  Iris, we’re going to save you.  I promise.  Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  She laughed again before embracing him, tears still streaming down her face.

 

\--

 

_December twentyfirst._

_1977._

“I will go in first!” Ian yelled over the wind, and Lily nodded to show her confirmation.  It had been a long, brutal two-day journey to Ariel’s keep, but they were finally here, shivering and frozen.  As he trudged through the snow and into the mouth of the cave, Sirius kicked his way over to Lily and wrapped her in his arms.

 

“You’re no good to me a popsicle,” he grumbled, as if to convince her, but she didn’t refuse him regardless.  She huddled in close to him, shaking and eternally grateful for his warmth.  Peter came over after a few moments, and they stayed like that, wrapped together.  At the last moment, they’d decided James should stay back, no matter how much he tried to refuse, but, what with Iris’ sudden arrival, they were afraid to leave her alone in just the company of Remus.  They felt frightened and exposed, like anything could happen.

 

Ian spent the better part of a half hour inside the warmth of the keep before he finally returned.  When he did, the three detached themselves, Lily sighing as Ian waved them over.  “She’s inside and waiting to speak with you!  I’ll stay out here with Peter!”  He waved Peter over, and the two took a seat in the mouth of the cave as Lily and Sirius entered.

 

It took them near ten minutes of traveling through well-lit tunnels before they finally arrived in a great room kept warm by hundreds of torches and small fires.  The golden light of the flames flickered around them, casting the chamber in a beautiful glow.  And there, curled around a rock nearly twice her size was Ariel, a gorgeous and gigantic silver dragon.

 

She took up nearly the entire back wall, and that was only her body.  Her tail wrapped around the large stone, spotted with dangerous-looking spikes.  It remained motionless as did her large grey eyes, which watched them carefully.  Her great head sat atop one of her four feet, her shimmering ivory talons dancing in the light of the fires.

 

 _“A dog and a doe,”_ she said suddenly in a great rumbling voice, a voice that filled their minds and echoed around the chambers, though her jaws did not move, and no sound came from her mouth.  _“What brings such small prey to my humble abode?  You do not fool me, Animagus.  Show me your true form.”_

Sirius looked to Lily a moment, and she nodded just the slightest.  He transfigured, and Lily smiled.  She laid a hand on his head, petting him slowly and fondly.  _“The doe loves the stag, I see,”_ Ariel continued, _“But you are no animal, doe.  Show me your true form.”_

Lily looked startled, but then Sirius nuzzled her side, and she understood just by the flick of his grey eyes.  “We have come to you in hopes that you may help us.”

 

_“You are quick, doe.  That will take you far.  The wolf needs my lilies and my breath.”_

“Only one lily, dragon.”

 

_“My name is Ariel, doe.”_

“And mine is Lily.”

 

A deep rumble filled the chamber, and Sirius tensed, stepping in front of Lily protectively.  _“You are clever, doe.  I like you.  Will you visit me after I have aided you?”_

 _  
_“If you promise not to eat or burn me,” Lily said with a smile, and the same rumble came again.  Lily suddenly recognized it as laughter, and she held a tuft of Sirius’ fur before stepping around him.  “Ariel, I beg of you, just one lily.”

 

_“I wish also to give you my breath, as a gift for your kindness, and because you promised to visit me.  A golden lily for a beautiful Lily.  Come, they are behind my perch.”_

Lily carefully walked around the large rock until she stopped with a gasp.  An entire garden of golden lilies lay before her.  Their petals were smooth and silky, devoid of any spots or blemishes.  She knelt and touched one of the petals delicately, her heart racing.  One of Ariel’s eyes suddenly came into her view, and the great dragon blinked her confirmation.  Lily plucked one of the lilies after taking a container from her purse.  She sealed it inside, whole, with a small smattering of soil.  They did not need it to sustain, but the flower would need it to remain entirely healthy until they returned to the potion.

 

Next, Lily removed a small flask from her purse, and, with trembling hands, she held it out, pinched between her fingers.  Ariel blinked at her again before opening her massive mouth and lowering her tongue inside the flask.  As she drew it back, flames licked down into the flask until it was nearly full, and Lily quickly capped it, gaping at it.

 

“Thank you,” she said aloud, and Ariel responded with another rumble and by settling her head back down.

 

_“May peace and happiness follow you, dog and doe.  Give my well wishes to the wolf and stag.  You may leave now.”_

Lily quickly hurried out with Sirius trotting behind her, though they stopped in the tunnels so he could transform and dress quickly.  “That was incredible,” she gasped when Sirius tapped her on the shoulder to turn, “Wasn’t it?”

 

“I think Iris will be happy,” Sirius said with a smile, and Lily couldn’t help but reciprocate it.

 

“I’m glad you two have finally worked things out,” she admitted, touching him on the arm before they both headed back through the winding tunnels and to where Peter and Ian were hunched.

 

“That quick, then?” Ian said, getting to his feet, “Seems she took a liking to you.  Alright, well, we better head off, then, seeing as we’ve still got quite a bit of day left.  We’ll camp tonight, and then hopefully we’ll make it back by dusk tomorrow.  Sound good?  Alright, let’s go.”

 

And so they headed out into the whipping wind and freezing snow.

 

\--

 

“I saw the way you were with James the other day,” Sirius said into the dead of the night from his sleeping bag.  Lily opened her eyes.  She hadn’t been able to sleep, and she knew he was awake, as well.  His grey eyes shone in the darkness as she stared at him.

 

“You did not,” she finally responded, and he smiled, his white teeth showing.

 

“From how much detail I got, I might as well have kissed you myself.  You don’t even know how happy you’ve made him.  Thank you for giving him a shot, Lily.”

 

“He’s lucky to have such a great friend.”

 

“As is Iris.  I really hope this works.  I don’t know what I’ll do if we lose her.”

 

“We won’t, Sirius.  We’re going to fix her, I promise.  We’re going to make her human and healthy again.”  Sirius just stared at her a moment longer before letting his eyes close and willing himself to sleep.

 

\--

 

_December twentythird._

_1977._

It was well past midday and practically dusk when the house finally came into sight.  Their spirits seemed to heighten quite a bit, and their pace quickened, though, as they came closer and closer, they slowed to nearly a stop.  James was standing far from the house, screaming with his hands cupped over his mouth.  Even from this distance, they could hear him over the howling wind.  He’d used the _Sonorus Charm_ , and his voice was magnified over the mountains, echoing loudly.  He said one thing.  _Iris_.

 

Remus suddenly came jogging around the house, dashing toward James.  He grabbed his arm, and James turned, his face the picture of despair and worry.  Remus shook his head, and James’ shoulders sunk, his eyes closing.  He looked suddenly aged, older even than his father.

 

Lily was the first to move, holding her wand to her throat.  “Boys!” she called, and they immediately turned at her voice.  She lowered her wand as they started over, and James took her in his arms and buried his face in her hair.

 

“She’s gone,” he whispered, tightening his hold as Lily tried to push away from him.

 

Sirius’ screams echoed around the mountains as Remus touched his shoulder and shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.


	10. Chapter 10

_December twentyfourth._

_1977._

Sirius sat on the cold rim of one of James’ makeshifts goal posts at two o’clock in the morning, his shivering fingers ghosting over charms on a bracelet.  There were only four charms so far, a wolf, a dog, a heart, and a feather, all silver and shining in the light of the moon.  He leaned his head against the circular metal, frowning and sighing.  He still couldn’t believe they’d stunned and tied him up to bring him back, though he knew it had been necessary.  He never would have willingly.

 

His fingers slipped, and the charm bracelet slid right out of his stiff fingers.  He watched it tumble through the moonlight and the dark air before it crashed into the many inches of snow blanketing the backyard.  He stayed a moment longer before levitating his broom back up to him from where he’d dropped it earlier and descending back to the ground to look for the bracelet.  He found it before long, tucking it away in his pocket, before heading toward the door.  Mrs. Potter was waiting there, frowning and with her arms crossed.

 

“Not only are you barefoot,” she began, “But your hair is also wet.”  She sighed and pulled him farther into the house, flicking her hand at the back door to close it.  “Tell me what troubles you?”

 

“I’d rather not, Mrs. P,” he said with a frown that seemed permanently etched onto his mouth, “Lily keeps telling me it will all be alright in the end, that all of this will calm and I’ll have Iris back.”

 

“I won’t pretend I know what’s going on, but Lily is right.”

 

“She usually is.  I think I’ll just go upstairs.”

 

“Get warm,” she ordered before sending him off.

 

Sirius took a hot shower, melting the icicles out of his curls, before he changed into sweatpants, a t-shirt, socks, and a sweatshirt.  He huddled underneath his blankets and continued to fiddle with the charms before he finally sighed and turned over, leaving the bracelet on his nightstand.  He didn’t sleep.

 

He drifted on the edge of his bed and on the edge of sleep.  He stared at the stars, he soaked in the moonlight, and he buried his head in his pillows when a wolf howled from the woods at the edge of James’ backyard.  He wished for death.

 

Morning came with James and a steaming bowl of oatmeal.  He pushed at Sirius until he sat against the headboard, and they ate together, side by side, in silence and comfortable.  “Lily said the potion will be ready in a week,” he finally said, and Sirius nodded.  He knew that was Lily’s way of dealing with the loss of her friend, but Sirius couldn’t fake that well.  “We’re going to find her,” James tried to assure, but Sirius just let out a snort and turned his glassy eyes away.

 

“We’re never going to find her.  Your parents won’t let us out of the house for more than an hour, and she’s in the middle of the mountains in New Zealand.”

 

“Ian is there.”

 

“Ian said he was leaving soon.  Before long, that house will be abandoned, and Iris will be alone in the mountains with no company but Ariel, and the cold that stole the human lives of those other wolves.  She won’t last up there.  Damn it, James, don’t you see?  Put her there long enough, and she’ll never come back, even if we find her.”  James looked at him in confusion, but Sirius just got off the bed and left the room in a fury.  He remembered so clearly looking into the eyes of those wolves and knowing that they would never be human again, no matter how hot they got.  Too long in the cold had frozen them into their fur, and they would never know skin again.  And Iris was lost somewhere in that cold.

 

“She’s as good as dead,” Sirius said softly to the empty hallway, “She is.  Just give her up.”

 

\--

 

_January twentythird._

_1978._

“Cap three vials of your potion and bring them forward, and I shall allow them to sit overnight before we test them on Wednesday.  Please dispose of your excess in the proper manner.  Four inches on your expected outcome due first thing Wednesday morning, to be corrected if your potion fails.  Details on corrections will be given at the end of class on Wednesday.  Black, please stay.”

 

While the rest of the class filed out toward the Great Hall, Sirius went ahead to Slughorn’s desk and watched as their professor put the rest of the vials away in a cabinet before turning to him with a sad smile.

 

“I may not be the best person to give you advice, nor may you want to hear it, but I wish to offer my sincerest condolences on Miss Vlokx’s disappearance.  Can nothing be done?”

 

“She’s gone, Professor.  If I may,” he said, inclining his head toward the door.

 

“Often people in our lives that we love seem to vanish as though they’d never existed,” Slughorn said, sitting behind his desk and nodding toward the door.  As Sirius took his exit, Slughorn’s voice followed him, “As often as they vanish, however, is no truth of their character.  We mustn’t judge or despair over those who we cannot find, but, rather, await for their return with a light heart.  Be ready, Mister Black.”

 

Sirius had stopped in the doorway to the classroom in the dungeons, his heart pounding in his chest and blood rushing in his ears.  _When_ Iris returned, he had to be sure he was ready.

 

“Padfoot?” came Remus’ voice as he finally left the classroom, but he continued on past him, James, Peter, and Lily, mind set.

 

“Sirius, mate, where are you going?” James called, trying to hurry after him, but he was halted when Lily touched his arm.

 

“Let me.”  And James allowed her, much to Sirius’ thanks.

 

“You’re quite possibly the most brilliant witch I’ve ever met,” Sirius began, and Lily smiled, “but your heart is stained with this, as is mine.  I need a favor from you.”

 

“Anything,” she said with a firm nod.

 

“Don’t let James come looking for me tonight,” Sirius said before disappearing through a door before Lily could stop him.  Too late she realized they were the stairs to the Owlery and he’d locked the door.

 

Her suspicions were proven neither wrong nor right as night came.  James anxiously stared over at the portrait hole every so often.  They hadn’t seen Sirius since before dinner, though he had been in Transfiguration, so Lily knew, at least for the time being, he was still safely in England.  She never imagined he might be in danger in England, though.

 

Sirius rubbed his arms against the raw night air that surrounded the Astronomy tower, an unwanted shiver pulling through him.  It was past midnight, past curfew, though that didn’t make a difference.  He heard the door creak at the midpoint, and it was only another ten minutes before Severus Snape slipped out of the shadows.

 

“You knew it wasn’t her handwriting, and you still came,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

 

“It was her owl,” Snape replied icily, “What do you want, Black?”

 

“I am swallowing every ounce of pride and hatred, Snape,” Sirius finally spat, turning to face the Slytherin, “I need your help.”

 

“Oh?  And why should I ever aid you?”

 

“The Marauders will not be hostile to you, from this moment on, until death does claim us all.  And we will do our share to prevent any misgivings from the other Houses, as well,” Sirius said, his fingers curled into fists.  “Do you have any other price?”

 

“What do you need?” Snape demanded.

 

Sirius stood there a moment before looking down, his breath escaping him.  “I can’t save her on my own, and I wanted your opinion.  Lily and James and whoever else I ask won’t be able to tell me to my face.”  He dug in his robes for one of the vials of golden liquid and proffered it.

 

Snape stood there nearly three minutes, staring at the potion, sniffing it, weighing it in his hands, and a whole manner of other things before he looked back up at Sirius with a derisive smirk.  “You want to know how much of _your_ life it will cost to save Vlokx’s.”  He stared at Sirius some time before holding out the potion, “Because that will only take away one factor, the cold, but in a decade or so, the wolf will claim her, and you want to erase that factor, as well.  People talk,” he answered Sirius’ shocked expression, “Whether I heard it from Lily, her friends, or those who have guessed, half the school knows.  I only have one other request to add to your offer.”  Sirius nodded, and Snape suddenly looked weary.  “Just tell Lily I’m sorry,” he paused to sigh before straightening and heading for the door, “I’ll see you in the spring, Black.”

 

\--

 

The wolf blinked, one green and one blue, staring out at the house on the mountain.  It was locked away in a human memory, how she knew this place, but she was continually drawn to it.  And so she continued to stare, unmoving, unknowing.  Something inside of her was shouting at her, pushing memories with strange colors and human voices into her mind.  The wolf growled and fell onto her belly, burying her face in the snow.  She hated these images, things she didn’t understand what they were or how she found them.

 

She’d seen this one a few times, the image of a boy, almost a man, with wild black hair, hazel eyes, and round glasses, screaming before she forgot what color looked like and he was just a blurry shape before her skin ripped and her muscles tore, and she was in the snow.  She could hear his voice.  _Iris.  Iris.  Iris._ It rang in her head like a warning, but she didn’t know what it meant.  She could see him, blurred in black and white, hands cupped around his mouth, his voice _so loud_.  _Iris.  Iris.  Iris._

 

Everytime she heard his voice, another image came to her, unbidden, one that she found strangely familiar.  She knew the boy in this one, knew his black curls, grey eyes, and soft touch.  _“Sirius,”_ a girl’s voice always said, but it was pronounced wrong, like _Iris_ but with an s at the beginning.  Sigh-ris.  And then his voice, so gentle, _“Iris.”_   Eerie-us.

 

 _Iris.  Iris.  Iris._ It rang in her head like a warning.

 

One of the other wolves had attacked her, and she was miles from them now, nursing her wounds in the bitter night and freezing snow.  They didn’t like her because she wasn’t one of them.  _Iris_.  She didn’t know what she was, but these colorful images made her head swim.  There was something inside of her begging to be let out.

 

_“Go back.”_

She remembered saying that.  Saying that.  _Saying_.  The something started to make sense, and the wolf stood on her three strong paws, the other curled up.  Humans said things, and something inside of her was begging to be let out.  She stared at the house again, she saw the boy with the glasses again, and then she saw his face, crystal clear in front of her.  _“Iris,”_ he said, but he said it right.  Eye-ris.

 

The wolf started forward delicately.  Everything in her nature screamed at her to stop, but his grey eyes pulled her forward.  The something inside of her that was begging to be let out was screaming _Iris, Iris, Iris_ like a warning in her head, and she knew she had to go back.  Go back.  She had told him to go back, and now he was gone.  _Iris_.

 

She scratched at the door, desperate, small whimpers forming in her throat until it opened and someone she didn’t recognize opened the door.  She turned to bolt, but his voice echoed like a gunshot in the cold mountain, “Iris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> HOW INTENSE WAS THAT.


	11. Chapter 11

_February third._

_1978._

_My eyes stay the same, even under these February stars.  Don’t forget me, for I fear I will be soon to forget you.  When you see me next, I will be not of skin but of fur.  Remember my eyes, Sirius.  My eyes stay the same, even under these February stars.  I love you._

Iris watched the tiny owl fly off, wings beating desperately against the harsh winds of the mountains.  She sat by the window for a while, just watching it go, until Ian came clomping in through the front door, and she flinched, a shake instantly grabbing at her.  He slammed the door shut, sealing away the cold, as he began peeling off his layers.  He noticed her after a time, giving her a nod before he noticed her position by the window.

 

“Did you send it?” he asked softly, stopping halfway to the kitchen.

 

Iris looked away, tears flooding her eyes.  It was so hard to be here, to stay hidden in the warmth of Ian’s house when she knew, just tomorrow, she’d be trapped in the body of a wolf again.  She wanted to be in _his_ arms, but she wouldn’t see him for so long.  She’d begged and pleaded for him to write Lily and ask her to come back, to give her the potion, to make him see sense, but Ian had steadfastly refused.  Today was their last day, and they were already back in school.

 

She felt empty, hollowed out.

 

She wanted Sirius.

 

\--

 

Iris finally left the window after a solid two hours of staring and intermittent crying.  She had never been one for much emotion, but it was useless to hold her tears inside.  No one was there to wipe them away.

 

She headed upstairs to where her room was located, the warmest in the house, and she turned on the water in the shower before disrobing and staring at herself in the mirror.  She put a hand to her face.  This wouldn’t be hers tomorrow.  Angry, she fisted her hands and resisted the urge to smash the mirror.  She _had_ to find a way out of here and to Hogwarts.  She’d done it before.  What was to say she couldn’t do it again?

 

She continued to stare at her reflection, the steam from the shower rolling out into the bathroom.  She just wanted to be normal.  She didn’t want this curse, for this was a curse, something beyond Remus and beyond the wolves of the mountains.  Someone had tried to kill her.  She was sure of this now.

 

She’d never feared for her life, not at first.

 

Not at first.  She repeated the words in her head a few times before opening her mouth, “Not at first.”  A memory flashed before her eyes, a memory of her crouched in a corner, shaking, as the window in the hallway banged open and cold air streamed in.  She remembered shifting, and then she couldn’t think anymore.  She shook her head, angry that she couldn’t recall wolf memories.

 

Something wasn’t right.

 

Iris stepped into the hot water, flinching a little as it burned her, but then she relaxed into it.  She loved when it was scalding.  To anyone else, they would have instantly backed out of it, but she relished in the hot, hot, _hot_ feel of burning water.  It made her feel safe.

 

“So why don’t I feel safe now?” she said aloud, stopping suddenly.  Soapy suds fell over her shoulders from her blonde hair, and she frowned.  Why was something different?

 

Another memory flashed before her eyes, unbidden, and she gasped.  She knew this memory from her skin and her fur.  She remembered, very distinctly, showing this memory to Sirius the first time she’d ever met him as a dog, when she was a wolf, when she felt like she was drowning in danger.  The memory of Emily finding her for the very first time and telling her she wasn’t alone.

 

Emily.

 

\--

 

After her shower, Iris settled on her bed dressed in the jeans Lily had left at the house, James’ Quidditch jersey that he’d forgotten, and Remus’ sweatshirt that she was pretty sure he’d left on purpose.  She pressed her back to the wall and closed her eyes.  The room was dark since she’d closed all the shades, and so she was surrounded in a world like night as she closed herself off.  She _had_ to remember these memories.

 

_She felt her stomach lurch with nausea, and she knew she was going to shift.  She was only twelve, and she hated every second of this.  She’d been bitten when she was so young she couldn’t remember the incident, bitten by a wolf from the mountains when her family was on vacation, and she’d been told by one of the healers at St. Mungo’s that she wasn’t an ordinary wolf.  And so when the window in the hallway clanged open, Iris shook, her skin rippling._

_“Excuse me,” a soft voice said, and Iris’ head snapped up as she stared at the raven-haired beauty before her.  “Are you okay?” she continued, but that was the last Iris heard as she whimpered and her skin split, the fiery coat of a wolf overcoming her._

_“I can, too,” the girl whispered, and, suddenly, there stood a silver-feathered falcon.  “You’re not an Animagus,” the girl’s voice said in her head, “My name is Emily.  You’re not a normal werewolf either, though.”  Iris just blinked at her before lowering to her haunches and trying to back further into the corner.  “I won’t hurt you,” Emily promised, and Iris believed her._

Iris held herself closer, arms wrapped around her knees.  Why did she feel so afraid?  _“This will help.”_   The voice rang in her head, and Iris stiffened.  Emily had said that to her once, when she was fifteen, right before she disappeared.  It had been a vial of silver liquid, the same potion that Pomfrey gave her to drink every day.

 

Emily.  Emily was trying to kill her, and she had no idea as to why.

 

\--

 

“Ian!” Iris called some hours later as he was preparing a small dinner, “Ian, I need your help!”  She darted into the kitchen, heart pounding, and Ian let out a shriek and quickly turned away again.  Iris cursed and ran back out of the kitchen.  “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed as she sprinted upstairs.  Her mind was tumbling and tearing.  She felt like she would shift again any second.

 

She wasn’t sure how she’d managed it, but only seconds before, she’d forced herself into the form of a wolf after throwing up charms around the bathtub so she wouldn’t be able to get out, and she’d forced herself to remain calm and dig through her memories.  She knew.  She knew for certain now.

 

She quickly threw on her clothes, and she was braiding her hair as she ran back downstairs.  “I’m sorry, I was excited,” she said as she tied off her braid and came back into the kitchen.  “My best friend poisoned me when I was fifteen,” she blurted out, “Ever since then, I’ve been taking this potion that she said would help keep the cold away, and it has, but it’s also killing me.  I need your help.  I can’t piece everything together.”

 

Ian stared at her like she had six heads, and Iris sighed before sitting.  “Okay,” she began, “The only other person that knows any of this is Sirius.  When I was just a toddler or something, I was bitten while my family was vacationing in the mountains, bitten by a wolf of the mountains.  That’s why I’m different than regular werewolves because _that_ werewolf was different, like the ones you know.  When I was twelve, I met Emily Kelunt.  Yes, you know her,” she added when his eyes widened, “She was an Animagus at thirteen, and, for the next two years, she helped me with my shifting.  She made it so I wasn’t lonely.  Like the guys do for Remus,” she whispered, the realization suddenly dawning on her, “Huh.  Anyway, when I was fifteen, Emily gave me this potion.  It was silver.  I remember that because Sirius and Lily have been trying to create a _gold_ potion.  Silver.  Silver because it represents the cold.  See, this is why I need you because I figure things out when I talk out loud.  Okay,” Iris paused to tuck a loose curl behind her ear and grip the edge of the table as Ian turned back around to finish his cooking, “Okay.  The silver potion helps my body adjust to the cold, so the wolf isn’t affected, but it’s also killing me.  I don’t know how, but it is.  Emily must have told Dumbledore about it.  Yes!  She had to have!  Because McGonagall knew who I was as soon as I told her I was a werewolf!  Because Dumbledore knew about me, and he’d told McGonagall, and so they must have been expecting me!  But why would Emily do that?”

 

“Maybe she didn’t know that it was killing you?” Ian offered.

 

“No.  This is Emily we’re talking about.  She was the smartest student in Ireland, except she isn’t at Hogwarts because the Marauders and Lily are there, and they’re smarter than her sometimes.  Especially James and Lily, and she hates both of them.  She’s always telling me how she can’t stand Lily and how she doesn’t understand why I hang out with her.  But.  But I don’t know why she hates James.  He’s equal to her, and he’s never done anything wrong.  It’s just Lily.  She has to be doing it on purpose.”

 

“Why would your best friend be purposefully trying to kill you?” Ian said, setting a plate of hot pasta salad down in front of her, “That makes no sense.”

 

“That’s where I’m lost.  Maybe Emily isn’t telling us the truth.  Maybe she… maybe she _isn’t_ working for the Order.  Or maybe she technically is, but she isn’t really.”

 

“You think she’s a Death Eater, really?” Ian snorted, “That sounds likely.”  Iris noted the roll of his eyes as he said this, and she sighed.

 

“But why else would she try to kill me?”

 

Something seemed to have clicked in Ian’s head because he stood suddenly, and Iris started to stand when he put up a hand.  “Just stay here.  I’ll be right back.”  Right back turned out to be two hours later, and, when he finally returned, he looked frazzled and wide-eyed.

 

“She _is_ a Death Eater,” Ian gasped, slamming an issue of the _Daily Prophet_ down on the table.  Emily’s picture was staring back at Iris, and she gaped.

 

There she was, beautiful black hair chopped off and hanging in odd angles around her jaw.  Her eyes were wild-looking, and her skin was pale.  She’d try to change her appearance, to hide herself, Iris realized.  But there she was, struggling against her captors, all who had wands trained on her, and she could just make out the outline of her naked shoulders.  They’d caught her as a falcon and she’d transformed.  A sign with strange symbols and numbers lingered beneath her, Azkaban symbols.

 

Iris felt her heart racing and her breath quickening as her eyes dropped to the caption.  _Emily Kelunt was found at the sight of four dead bodies, all previously missing Muggles.  When forced to transfigure, she was given Veritaserum and revealed that she had, indeed, murdered all of them and would gladly show them to her so-called master, He Who Must Not Be Named.  Pictured below is the Dark Mark that each of his followers, known as Death Eaters, possess.  Story continues on page—_

“This can’t be true!” Iris shouted, backing away, “No!”  She knew she was hyperventilating, but no tears fell and otherwise she was calm, “She was the best the Order had!  How could she have betrayed them?  How could she have betrayed _me_?” she finished with a gasp, suddenly sinking from her feet and onto her knees, “How could she have led me to trust her all this time?  What did I ever do to deserve this?”

 

“ _You_ —” a voice spat, and Ian instantly whipped his wand out as Iris turned her head wearily, “—are the reason Tom will fall one day.  You just _had_ to bring James and Lily together.  There’s a prophecy, didn’t you know?” Emily sneered, “They’ll have a child, a mere _child_ —” she roared, “—who will defeat my Lord!  And you brought them together!”

 

Iris started to stand at the same time Ian let loose a vicious stunning spell.  Emily deflected it, and, faster than Iris could ever have imagined, a jet of green light shot from the end of her wand.  “No!” Iris shrieked as Ian was thrown against the cabinets and sunk to the ground with a soft thump.  “Emily!”

 

Suddenly, Emily’s arms were wide, and the windows shattered everywhere.  Cold, winter air seeped into the kitchen, drenching Iris’ body in the icy night, and she gasped, gripping her arms as her body shook uncontrollably.  “You will never see him again.”

 

“Why don’t you just kill me?” Iris spat out, “It’s clearly no problem for you.”

 

“I’d rather not kill my _best friend_ ,” Emily returned hotly.

 

“You were already poisoning me!  Damn it!”

 

Emily started to turn, and Iris closed her eyes, imagining Sirius’ warm arms and soft kiss.  She _would_ see him again.  She had done it once; she could do it again.  Emily’s back was to her when she opened her eyes, and she just narrowed her eyes before letting the sickening lurch of apparition take her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> For those of you who also read Frivolous Thoughts, I’m sorry there was no update on time. I don’t know when the next chapter will be. These two stories were started some time before they were actually posted, and, while I have still a few chapters left already written for this one, I only had ten chapters pre-written for Frivolous Thoughts. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, but it seems my Harry Potter muse seems to have taken a vacation and welcomed my Marvel muse on home. That said, I do hope to not abandon these, and so I will be trying to find the inspiration anytime I can to get these stories finished. Thank for your patience, and I’m sorry.


	12. Chapter 12

_February third._

_1978._

“C’mon, Padfoot, we’re gonna be late for breakfast,” James sighed, shoving Sirius roughly until his friend finally groaned and swatted at him.

 

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”  It took another five minutes before Sirius pulled himself out of bed, and he blearily glanced at the clock before swearing.  They still had one hour before breakfast, as it was only seven o’clock, but he was grateful despite his angry demeanor.  James had given him time to shower.

 

He meandered into the bathroom, knocking on the wall once he was in the shower.  He heard James and Remus enter, talking animatedly, and the two brushed their teeth together, including Sirius in on their conversation.  When they left, Sirius finished up quickly while listening to the sounds of them attempting to wake Peter.  He tied a towel around his waist and squirted some paste onto his toothbrush before palming his face and setting about making himself pretty.  When he exited, Peter passed by him, looking to be still asleep.

 

He dressed slowly, and James smirked when he tugged on his boots instead of his regular school shoes.  He kept them mostly untied, feeling lazy, and he was just fastening his cloak on when Peter finally emerged and bumbled over to his bed to get dressed.  He grumbled something incoherent and probably nasty, and they just sniggered and continued their light conversation.

 

When the four of them were all finally ready, they headed downstairs and flopped onto their respective couches and armchairs around the dead fire in the common room.  It was only a matter of minutes before Lily came down the stairs, looking rather lonely without Iris next to her.  James frowned; he was always rather disturbed that Lily’s roommates didn’t hang out with her, especially now that he’d seen her become so close to Iris.

 

“Hello boys,” she greeted rather softly, stopping at James’ side of the couch, “Ready for breakfast?”  They gave her mumbled responses before slowly filing out of the tower and into the hallway where James took Lily’s hand and they stepped ahead of the other three Marauders.  “How is Sirius?” Lily asked quietly, something that had become routine every morning.

 

“He’s alright.  He seems more himself, from what I can tell, but I know he’s still caught up in everything.  He’s still a little distant, but getting better.  How’re you, though?”

 

“Okay,” Lily said with a shrug, “I really miss her.”

 

“Yea,” James nodded, “So do I.”

 

They started to slow until they were hanging back with their friends, and, together, the five of them made their way to the Great Hall where they ate breakfast and headed off to Potions.  “I think Slughorn is still hoping Iris will return,” Lily said to Remus as she added an ingredient to their Pepperup Potion; Slughorn had decided that Madame Pomfrey was being overrun and they should learn how to brew their own (plus, he seemed to be in a rather awful mood and didn’t feel like teaching).  “Because he hasn’t assigned us a new partner,” she added, and Remus nodded.

 

“I certainly hope she does.  I don’t think I can handle anymore of Sirius’ staring out at the night all the time.  It’s maddening.  Plus, she was nice, and I liked having someone around who understood me truthfully.”

 

Lily smiled.  She knew things would be okay in the end.

 

\--

 

Lunch was a happy reprieve.  The students of Potions that morning all had steam whistling out of their ears, even those who weren’t sick but had to demonstrate if the potion worked.  The Marauders and Lily sat down in the midst of a great bout of conversation, jabbering back and forth with one another, and the five of them immediately started heaping food onto their plates as they went.

 

Halfway into their meal, the post came; it had been arriving around lunchtime as of late because all the owls were far too exhausted from wintry flights during the night and typically rested during the morning.  However, hordes of them came soaring in now, and the Gryffindor table was surprised to find five owls swooping down, circling one another until they each landed in front of their respective owners.

 

Lily took her letter quickly, allowing her owl to munch on a piece of bread.  “Petunia’s getting married,” she announced suddenly, horrorstruck, “Oh, and to that awful oaf, Vernon.  The one I told you about,” she continued, swatting at James distractedly, “The one I met over the summer.  He’s interning at that stupid drill place, and—”

 

“He has the mustache and the purple face, right,” James finished hurriedly, his eyes darting nervously over his letter.  When he finished, the other four were staring curiously at him.  “My father’s ill,” he finally said, his shoulders sagging, “A healer from Mungo’s came by because he was too weak to apparate or Floo, and apparently they’re doing all they can for him, but my mother wants me to come home this weekend, just in case.”

 

“Oh James,” Lily softened, curling an arm around him and resting her head on his shoulder, “I’m so sorry.”

 

But James’ attention had shifted abruptly, causing his friends to look up with him.  Sirius was practically sprinting toward the staff table.  As he nearly flew up the steps, the students of Hogwarts trickled to silence and watched him.

 

“She’s alive,” he said, his shaking voice echoing in the Great Hall.  Dumbledore studied the note that Sirius had placed before him, his eyes widening before he passed it to McGonagall.  The headmaster leaned forward, whispering quietly and furiously as James, Remus, Peter, and Lily stood up, anxiety filling them.

 

“The five of you,” Dumbledore said when they reached the staff table, “My office.  Now.”  McGonagall was already standing up as Sirius straightened and nodded.  They followed the headmaster and Transfiguration professor out of the Great Hall, leaving behind silent and curious onlookers.

 

\--

 

Lily could hardly believe what they’d just been told.  The four Marauders around her were sitting in complete and utter silence, but her mind was racing in a million different directions.  How could Emily have betrayed them?  She’d literally just seen her yesterday.  How had this happened in a blink of an eye and right under their noses?  Dumbledore had trusted her with so much; she was one of the Order’s most unflawed and greatest members.

 

Lily was having trouble breathing.

 

If Dumbledore was right about his other theories, as well, that meant Iris could very well be dead right now.  They had no idea when she’d sent the note, though they were convinced that it had indeed been in the last three days, since it was only just barely February, but _still_.  Emily could have already found and killed her.  She knew exactly where they’d gone to fetch Ariel’s fire and the golden lily.

 

Sirius stood suddenly, disbelief etched into his features.  Lily’s heart pained for him; she could only imagine what horrors he was going through.  “Prongs,” he whispered before he closed his eyes and then disappeared from the office.  James silently stood and followed his friend out, leaving Lily, Remus, and Peter in the watch of Dumbledore and McGonagall.

 

“I think I’m going to grow a beard,” Sirius said outside of the office, walking briskly with James by his side.

 

“You already mostly have one.  Look at that stubble,” James tried to joke, but Sirius didn’t even crack the faintest of smiles.

 

“I think she’s dead.”

 

“We don’t—”

 

“I can feel it.  Do you wanna smoke?”

 

James blinked, nodding.  “Yea, sure.”  They walked together in silence after that, eventually reaching the steps where they continued and continued until they were deep in the Forbidden Forest and Sirius shifted without warning.  James sighed before following suit, and, together, they wasted the night bounding through the forest.

 

\--

 

Lily looked up as there was a sharp scream.  Remus followed her movements, blinking and frowning as another scream echoed across the grounds.  “It’s coming from outside,” Lily said softly, going to stand by the window.  Nothing met her gaze, and she was about to shrug and return to the couch when yet another scream cut the air.  Lily swiveled to face Remus, and he was already getting up off the couch.

 

“I’ll be right back,” he muttered before disappearing upstairs.  When he returned, he was holding James’ invisibility cloak, and Lily just nodded once before hurrying over to him.  They slipped out of the common room, the Marauders’ Map tucked into Remus’ back pocket, and, once outside the portrait hole, he dropped the cloak over them.  They walked, hunched, hurrying through the castle until they reached the front doors.  Four more screams ripped the night air throughout their journey.

 

“No, no, please God, no,” a voice whimpered beyond their sight as Remus pushed open one of the large doors and slipped through, Lily edging along with him.  They were just about to descend the steps when Lily let out a shriek and dashed away, the cloak falling from Remus as she nearly tugged it with her, and he watched it flutter to the ground like silk.  When he raised his eyes from gathering it up, he almost dropped it again.

 

“GET DUMBLEDORE!” Lily bellowed over her shoulder as she continued to sprint across the grounds.  Remus immediately obeyed her, and Lily flinched as Iris screamed.

 

  1. “IRIS, I’M COMING!  God, please don’t shift.”



 

It seemed like the grounds stretched out endlessly before her, and Lily cursed the lake as she had to wind around it.  Iris was so far.  There was no way she was going to reach her.  Finally, after what seemed like ages, Lily almost slammed into the large gates, and her breath escaped her all in a rush as she gripped the black bars and shook them, terror exploding in her.  Why couldn’t she get through?

 

“Lily,” Iris gasped, pressing a hand against the invisible barrier separating them.

 

“Iris, no, no, no, Iris, please, don’t shift,” Lily begged, falling to her knees.  She banged her fists against the gates, screaming.  “NO!”

 

“I’m so cold, Lily,” Iris whispered, her eyes fluttering.

 

“Iris, please, you have to stay with me.  Is there anything I can do?”

 

“So.  Cold.”

 

“LILY!”

 

The redhead turned at the voice, nearly fainting at the sight of Remus and Dumbledore.  The headmaster was hurriedly pulling his wand out, and, seconds later, Iris fell through the gates.  Lily pushed aside her shock and quickly scooped her friend in her arms.

 

“Incendiocorpus,” Iris said, struggling to push away from Lily, “Before.”  Lily nodded, placing her friend back on the ground and whispering the spell.  She flinched as Iris’ body was enveloped in flames, and it was only when Iris reached out a hand that Lily released the spell.  “Quick,” Iris stuttered out.

 

“Has anyone seen Sirius or James?”

 

“MOONY!”

 

“Right there,” Remus panted as he finally reached the two girls.  Lily lifted her head to see Sirius running headlong toward them from the forest, James erupting just behind him.  Neither were wearing shirts or shoes, though they looked flushed and warm.

 

“The gates,” Iris gasped, but it was too late.

 

Dumbledore suddenly deflected a well-aimed curse, and Remus yanked Lily and Iris out of the path of Emily Kelunt, who was steadily approaching them.  “Get up to the castle.  Get her warm,” Remus ordered even as he pulled out his wand and turned his back to them, preparing to fight.

 

Lily just nodded, dashing away as McGonagall shielded them.  She heard a quiet exchange between James and Sirius, and she watched as they split, James toward the gates and Sirius toward the girls.

 

“Don’t you dare,” Sirius gasped as he reached them and Iris shook.  “No, don’t you dare.  Iris, God, _Iris_.”  Before she knew what was happening, Sirius had taken Iris from her and was breaking to his knees, body curling around the blonde’s.

 

“Sirius, we have to get back to the castle!  It’s not safe!” she yelled, trying to pull him back up and letting out a breath of shock as she did.  Sirius was ice cold to the touch, almost like a frozen statue.  She gripped his shoulder, but he fell away from her touch, unconscious even as Iris struggled away from his grasp.

 

“Oh my God,” Iris barely whispered, staggering to her feet, “Lily, Lily, oh my God, he’s going to die.”

 

“What did he do?” Lily exclaimed, hurrying to lift Sirius with Iris’ help.

 

“He gave me his warmth.  All of it.  He’s going to freeze to death.”  Lily stared at Iris a moment in shock before she nodded and they set off dragging Sirius’ body toward the castle, moving as fast as they could and screaming for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> This is the last pre-written chapter I have for this story. I certainly hope I’m going to be able to get the next chapter written and up on time, but I can’t make any promises. I’m so sorry for this, guys. My Harry Potter muse seems to have just disappeared entirely and replaced itself with my Marvel muse. But, I’m going to try, I promise. So, keep an eye out.


	13. Chapter 13

_February tenth._

_1978._

 

Iris had never seen her friend quite so nervous.  They’d just gotten the owl from Madame Pomfrey that James had finally awoken, and they were standing outside of the Hospital Wing, but Lily couldn’t seem to bring herself to open the door.  “When did this happen?” Iris finally asked, arching an eyebrow, “You and James, meaning.”

 

“While we were in the mountains.  Officially.  Where you and Sirius seemed to finally hit it off, I might add.”

 

“That’s been coming for ages.  Actually, so hasn’t you and James,” Iris said thoughtfully, “Alright, are we going in or not?  He was asking for you.”

 

“He’s always asking for me,” Lily muttered under her breath before pushing the door open.  James’ bed was located at the far end of the Hospital Wing, away from curious eyes, and Sirius’ bed was across from him.  They sat and talked with him for awhile, listening as he recounted what had happened and what Pomfrey had told him about the dark curse Emily had thrown at him, Emily, who was being restrained four beds away, magically unconscious and silenced.  Pomfrey was tending to her wounds before Dumbledore decided what was to be done.

 

“I just saw her picture on the _Prophet_ ,” Lily was saying, and Iris nodded, looking over at her friend somberly, “I can’t even believe it.”

 

Iris shifted her gaze to the drawn curtains around Sirius’ bed, and her whole body sagged as she stared at it.  She was alive and human because of him, but Pomfrey’s words wouldn’t leave her mind, no matter how hard she wished for them to, _He’s dying_.

 

James seemed to have followed her gaze because, next thing she knew, he was holding Lily’s hand very tightly and whispering soothingly to her as Iris stood.  She heard none of it, just the tone of his voice, but her mind was set.  She slipped through the break in the curtains, and her heart leapt into her throat.

 

Sirius was pale and ghost-like, entirely too lifeless for her liking, and he was icy to the touch.  Dark bags had formed under his eyes, and his skin looked sallow and sickly.  She didn’t know the spell, didn’t know how to do what he did, but she knew that she had to try because she _would not_ be the death of Sirius Black.  Her skin could wait until spring; his life could not wait at all.

 

And so Iris carefully leaned over him, her lips pressed to his just as he’d done a week ago in the frigid winter night, and she felt all the warmth leave her, breaking her into violent shakes.  Her stomach turned and ripped, and her eyes turned feral and wolf-like.  She stepped back, gasping, but there was a flush in Sirius’ cheeks, and his eyes were moving under the lids.

 

“Sirius,” she breathed, desperately trying to hold onto her human thoughts, “Sirius, please.”

 

With a groan, his eyes opened, and Iris collapsed to the floor.  “Iris?” his voice said, and she stared up at him, their eyes connecting.

 

“Sirius, I love you,” she managed to rush out before she felt her skin splitting and she was gone.

 

\--

 

Sirius blinked.  The blue and green eyes of Iris the wolf blinked back up at him, and he knew that even the stifling heat of the Hospital Wing couldn’t bring her back.  She’d given him her warmth as he’d given her his, and she was frozen beyond hope of heat.  Only spring would bring her back now.

 

Lily flung the curtains back at the exact wrong moment, even as James struggled to push himself off the bed, face screwed up in pain and panting.  Pomfrey was already making her way toward them as the wolf growled and backed away.  Lily was frozen in place, staring with wide eyes.

 

“Lily,” Sirius said softly, trying not to startle the wolf, “Just don’t move.  Stay very still.”

 

Lily obeyed, not even nodding to agree, and Pomfrey seemed to have heard him because she stopped a few feet from Sirius’ bed, looking frightened.  Sirius tried to sit up, but it seemed his limbs didn’t want to obey him.  He struggled until Pomfrey huffed and glared fiercely at him, and he stopped, looking pained and scared.

 

“Iris,” Lily whispered, slowly lowering to one knee and reaching a hand forward.  “Iris, it’s me, Lily.  You have to get out of here.  You have to go.”

 

Iris stared at her a second longer before bolting, carrying herself out of the Hospital Wing and into the school.  They heard Remus’ voice from outside, but it faded away as he realized what had happened and worked to direct Iris out of the castle without hurting anyone.

 

Sirius sunk into his pillows, staring resolutely at the wall.

 

\--

 

_February twentysecond._

_1978._

Sirius woke to James’ alarm, and the three boys yawned and stretched in the darkness.  It was well past midnight, but Remus hadn’t wanted them to come early tonight, especially with it being a school night.  “Right.  You guys know the drill,” James said tiredly, pulling himself out of bed and going over to his dresser.

 

Sirius quickly tugged on a pair of jeans, socks, and his boot, leaving them unlaced as he padded over to his dresser to find a t-shirt.  After that, he threw a sweatshirt on and grabbed his leather jacket.  James was ready as he shouldered his backpack, and then they only need wait for Peter.  Finally, they were ready, and they headed out under the invisibility cloak, James checking the map, Sirius leading the way, and Peter glancing over his shoulders and into hallways.

 

They made it outside and into the forest without any troubles, and they stopped here so that James could bundle the cloak up and stow it away in his backpack.  They continued on, wands out and lit, chatting softly so as not to startle any of the creatures or announce their presence.  However, when they erupted into the clearing where Remus usually changed in the morning, Remus was already there.

 

He looked up at their arrival, and he started to move until a snarl forced him back to the ground.  Their heads shifted at the noise, and Sirius choked on his breath as Iris the wolf came trotting from the forest.  She went over to Remus and rubbed his head affectionately before looking up.  Her eyes settled on Sirius, who was already stripping out of his clothes.

 

“Padfoot,” James whispered.

 

“I know.”

 

The other two set about undressing, leaving their bare skin to the treacherous cold of winter.  Sirius was the first of them transformed.  He loped over to Iris, tackling her to the ground, and she pawed at him playfully until they settled again, looking at each other.  He pushed his head against hers, warmth flowing through him.

 

An image came to him, one that made Sirius close his eyes and relish in.  It was the time they’d kissed in the mountains, the last time he’d seen her.  He could feel the words he wanted to say deep in his chest, and he pushed the emotion toward her, begging her to understand.  Iris closed her eyes and leaned into him, and Sirius was at peace.

 

\--

 

_April fourth._

_1978._

From that night in February on, the Marauders spent the full moon not only with Remus but with Iris, as well.  James made Sirius promise he wouldn’t spend every night out there, and he didn’t.  He left for the weekends, though, every Friday night into late Sunday afternoon, and he slowly returned to the Sirius they all knew and loved.

 

Spring was fast approaching, which meant Snape came calling.  Sirius received his note early that day as they were sitting for lunch.  “Mm, post,” James mumbled before he kissed Lily.  She smiled when they parted and set about filling her plate with food.

 

They went through the usual—James’ father was getting better, Petunia’s wedding was still approaching, Remus’ mother was worrying too much again, Peter still didn’t have any mail, and Sirius jumped when his owl landed in front of him.  “You never get mail either,” Peter complained, “Why now?”

 

Sirius shrugged and reached for the small piece of folded parchment.  His owl nibbled at a pile of peas as he unfolded it and immediately recognized the elegant scrawl.  He looked up, and Severus Snape was staring back at him.  He nodded.

 

They met in the Astronomy Tower that night at the same time, and Sirius was there first again.  He leaned over the edge of the tower, staring out at the forest, and, just as the midpoint door opened, a shadow stepped out of the trees.  He squinted his eyes to see better, and the shadow lifted its head.  Even from here, he knew.  Blue and green look up at him, and the shadow stepped into the moonlight.  Iris.

 

“Black,” Snape said from behind him, and Sirius held the wolf’s gaze for a moment longer before turning.

 

“Snape,” he replied, “Well?”

 

He reached into one of his pockets and tossed something at Sirius.  When he caught it, he looked down at the small vial in his hands.  “That is the improved version.  I’m not telling you how it works.  You don’t need to know anyway,” he said as Sirius straightened, “Wait until late March.  It will be spring enough then that she should be close to changing, though you should administer it to her while she’s still a wolf.  I know, it doesn’t make sense, but it will take the wolf away from her, I promise.”

 

“And?” Sirius prompted, turning back to the edge of the tower.  Iris was still there, still staring up at him.

 

Snape didn’t respond immediately.  He walked over to where Sirius stood, and he looked down.  “You love her,” he said softly, and Sirius nodded, “Then it shouldn’t matter.”

 

“It doesn’t,” Sirius confirmed, “I just need to know what has to be done.”

 

“Breathe into it.  Right before you administer it,” he added.

 

“That’s it?”

 

“The potion will do its work.  You’ll be weak, but you should be able to walk back to the castle.  I’m assuming you’ll do this in the forest.  Bring her clothes.”

 

“Of course,” he said, nodding.

 

They stood there another few moments, looking down at Iris, before Snape bristled and stepped back.  “Well, I can’t say it was a pleasure working with you, Black, but thank you for not making this painful.”

 

“Snape,” he said, quickly turning.  The Slytherin turned halfway to the door, arching an eyebrow.  “Thank you,” he said, and Snape shrugged.  He started to turn again, but Sirius spoke, “There’s something else.”  Snape faced him fully, but his attention was quickly stolen as Lily stepped out from the shadows.  She smiled shyly, and Snape looked over to Sirius, agape.  Sirius just shrugged and pocketed the vial.  As he made his way toward the door, Snape stepped out of his way, returning his eyes to Lily.

 

“He told me what you said,” Lily whispered when Sirius had gone, “That you were sorry.”  Her green eyes were watery as she stared at him.

 

“I am, Lily,” he murmured, swallowing the lump in his throat, “I’m so sorry for ever hurting you.”

 

“I don’t hate you, Severus,” she said, stepping forward, “I never will.  I’ll always love you.  You’re one of my best friends.”  She stopped in front of him, and Severus looked down at her, trembling.

 

“Lily,” he whispered.  She closed her eyes when he reached up a hand and ran his thumb under her eyes, drying away her quiet tears.  “Lily, I just want you to be happy.”

 

“I am,” she promised.

 

He reached forward as she said this, and Lily let him fold her away in his embrace, the last they’d ever share.  “It will always be you,” he whispered.

 

Miles away, Sirius hung his backpack on a tree branch, the vial tucked safely away, and he ran the trees with Iris, his heart soaring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> HI! LOOK AT THIS! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
> 
> I know. I know it’s been a very long time, and I apologize. I hate that I’ve left these two stories for so long, and I’ve really been trying to get back and finish them. Oh, that word. Yes, this will be done soon. In two chapters, actually. Starting this, I’d only planned to write the time of their seventh year and Iris’ struggle to become human permanently, and, well, as you can see, that’s going to happen quite soon.
> 
> But, I hope you enjoyed this, and definitely look for the last two chapters! I’m hoping to get them on the scheduled every five days.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything otherwise recognizable belongs to Maggie Stiefvater.
> 
> This was supposed to come out two days ago, but what with the malfunctioning server, it’s here today, meaning, the new chapter will be out in three days rather than five.
> 
> So, this is an idea. This is just something I’ve been toying with and want to try out. Iris will become a more solid person, don’t worry. I know she seems kind of flimsy and like Emily has been protecting her all her life, but she’s going to come into her own a little more, :) So, let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, a note on my second disclaimer. This idea of Iris turning into a wolf because of the cold came directly from Maggie’s series, Wolves of Mercy Falls. It’s easily my most favorite trilogy of books ever, and I really love how she warped the werewolf idea a little bit, so that’s that!
> 
> AND. HAS ANYONE SEEN THE NEW UNDERWORLD TRAILER THAT JUST CAME OUT TODAY? LIKE, OH MY GOSH. I’m unbelievably excited. And Selene’s last line, “Where’s Michael?” YES. WHERE IS HE?


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